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Snack Time

by Hooray99 

Posted: 20 November 2003
Word Count: 79

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Like a railway tunnel
a gaping chasm
a cheeky whore’s draw
a shopping bag
or an empty jar
perhaps, a seaside cavern
A crater like those on the moon.

The crusty moistened stunted cupid’s bow
becomes unfastened
and north and south are parted.

Stained, unfettered double row
like bricks
only less well ordered
and furred with wear.

The serpentine throbbing muscle
soaked and ready to drip
Monochromes of crimson to greenish yellow specks
Wild, but chained.

Ingestion begins

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Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 12:51 on 20 November 2003  Report this post
well written, i enjoyed reading it. Made me smile and thats what poetry should be. To laugh,cry but simply enjoy the words spoken. Hope to read more. xx Alice

The Walrus at 13:08 on 20 November 2003  Report this post
Packed with wonderful and very colourful imagery. An everyday, taken for granted activity viewed from a very original perspective. I like it.

The Walrus

Taupe at 13:13 on 11 December 2003  Report this post
Curiously, engagingly erotic and surreal. The arrangement of the free verse pattern is confident too. It's a witty poem, and I like the punchy, direct isolation of the concluding line. My only query/reservation concerns the third line. Should this perhaps read 'drawers' ( ie. knickers ) - or 'drawer'? I wonder of you know the early poems of Craig Raine in 'A Martian sends a Postcard Home'. If not I think you'd like them. Also some of Selima Hill's and Jo Shapcott's work.

Beanie Baby at 14:54 on 12 July 2005  Report this post
Found this as a random read. Very visual and well crafted.

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