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Pie in the Sky

by Crimsondelilah 

Posted: 21 March 2010
Word Count: 314
Summary: For Jen's Pi Challenge


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Clothilde sank into the faded red booth and stretched her weary legs. As she looked around the room it occurred to her that she might be mistaken but Jean-Claude was very specific – this was the place. She ran her fingers along the gingham tablecloth, the ends poking out from beneath a clear plastic coversheet. A waitress wearing a matching gingham apron soon appeared, wielding a notepad and pen like an army officer called to attention.
‘Welcome to Pie in the Sky, my name’s Melanie,’ she said. ‘What can I get you ma’am?’
‘I’d like to start backwards if I may, with a latte and a slice of your apple pie.’
‘Which apple pie?’ Melanie asked, an eager smile stenciled onto her face.
‘Er, I was told to simply order your apple pie.’
‘Ma’am have you taken a look at our menu?’ Clothilde could not detect a hint of sarcasm in the waitress’s voice. ‘We serve more than 100 different pies and we have at least 10 different varieties of apple pie. We have apple and cinnamon, apple and pear, apple and blackcurrant, apple and blackberry, apple and blueberry. We have savoury pies like pork and apple, chicken and apple. Then we have our specials.’
A bemused Clothilde took a closer look at the menu.
‘OK, I’ll try the apple and pear’.
‘I’m afraid we’re out. Care to try something else?’
‘What about the apple and blueberry?’
‘Sorry, we’re out of that as well.'
Clothilde was mildly irritated.
‘Why don’t you suggest one that I can try?
Melanie cocked her head upwards, deep in thought. ‘How about apple and gooseberry?’
‘Ok, I’ll take that.’ Clothilde felt victorious. As Melanie skipped away, she brought out her own notebook and pen. On the cover was a picture of a man made of rubber tyres. Inside she wrote – I must get my own back on Jean-Claude.






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Comments by other Members



Cholero at 09:41 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Superbly written, you have a great ear for the flow of a sentence and the rhythm of people speaking.

Magical quirky story.

Great!

Pete

Bunbry at 10:28 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
There is some very nice detail in this story. No Michellin stars for this cafe eh?!

Nick

crowspark at 11:50 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Lovely writing, Margaret. I agree with Pete.
I think possibly "weary" is redundant in the first sentence as sank and stretched do the job (and faded added to the sense.
Jean-Claude was a bit of a tease!
Thanks for the read.

Bill

Prospero at 13:12 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Good fun, Margaret.

Come to my cafe, we have only only type of coffee. Instant and cheap.

Best

John

V`yonne at 13:56 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
if you go to Jenz' cafe you'll get tea and jaffa cakes whether you like it or not

jenzarina at 16:29 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Mmm, Jaffa Cake pie!

I love the idea of this cafe... and naughty Jean-Claude. A cheeky story all round. And good use of Anglo Saxon names, there should be more Clothildes in this world.

Crimsondelilah at 17:09 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Thanks for comments everyone. I'm a pie-loving gal myself so was literally drooling as I was writing this.
The cafe may not be michelin star worthy but definitely my idea of heaven.

Jubbly at 20:53 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Very original, and vivid. Reminded a little of that film 'Waitress', great stuff.

tusker at 15:57 on 22 March 2010  Report this post
Loved this Margaret.

Made my mouth water.

Jennifer


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