Mickey - the rhythm scans well, the rhyme scheme is unforced and I like the rivers of milk simile but the subject matter isn't doing it for me. Made me squirm. Felt a bit too Bernard Manning. Sorry

I don't mind this too much morally - it falls just short of any line I would draw. As far as I'm concerned, you get away with it.

It gave me an idea which I'll run past you. Just let it run on into the sunset if you like. In a similar rhyming poem, you present a character - a man who is a classic cheapskate, who walks to save bus fare, who's always snooping around the 'reduced to clear' in the supermarket, etc. You could invent funnier examples than that. One night our 'hero' finds himself in the red light district, and feels inclined. He approaches one of the women, asks her how much, and decides it's too expensive. So he works his way along the street comparing prices (Go compare!) until he gets the best bargain. By this time his inclination has passed.

James.