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Salvation

by tusker 

Posted: 06 July 2010
Word Count: 350


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Amanda, as always, sat at the front of the church. Behind her thirteen members of the congregation shuffled prayer books. The Reverend William Westbourne stood in the pulpit issuing words of Hell and damnation; an old fashioned zealot that put even the most devout Christian to shame. The five strong choir fidgeted. Miss James, their myopic leader, cast disapproving looks in their direction. An ageing organist blew on white fingers in readiness to play disjointed chords of the hymn to follow.

Then the church door opened and ignoring the vicar’s glare, a stranger came to sit down beside Amanda. As they prayed, Amanda could hear her muttering, ‘Bloody hypocrite.’

During the hymn, Onward Christian Soldiers, Amanda glanced sideways to meet the sad eyes of the young woman. In that moment, a secret knowledge passed between them and Amanda recognised the once pretty, eleven year old girl who had attended Sunday School before both she and her parents left the village amid malicious gossip.

Then Amanda recalled a policeman visiting the vicarage and her father’s angry protestations above her mother’s weeping. Three weeks later, Reverend Westbourne said in a cold tone, ‘Your mother’s dead,’ and she remembered local women rallying around the poor, grieving vicar and small daughter who’s mother had taken a fatal overdose.

Over the decade, members of his flock had died or moved into nursing homes. The village expanded with new development while pews at St. Sebastian’s became emptier and emptier. Now as the last chorus dwindled into a shaky finale, the woman beside her rose up shouting, ‘Bloody hypocrite!’ against a wave of startled coughs and gasps.

Amanda got up. Rested a hand on the young woman’s shoulder. ‘Bloody hypocrite!’ she joined in as tears of past shame mingled with great relief blurred her vision.

The Reverend Westbourne, standing in front of the altar, groaned and swayed before he collapsed down onto the unforgiving stone floor. Turning, both Amanda and the woman walked down the aisle and out into a sleety morning while inside the church, Miss James tried to remember the resuscitation procedure for heart attacks.








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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 09:06 on 07 July 2010  Report this post
revenge is a dish that's best served cold and this was well chilled Jannifer I loved the very churchy observations and
the last chorus dwindled into a shaky finale
is a perfect piece of writing. I think it suits the Biblical proportions of the prompt well.

tusker at 11:46 on 07 July 2010  Report this post
Thanks Oonah.

I remember those times of my childhood forced to sit there and be good, listening to all that pontificating.

Jennifer



Findy at 07:15 on 09 July 2010  Report this post
Liked this Jennifer.

Amanda could hear her muttering


hear is missing

Liked the shaky finale line

Nice last line.

findy

tusker at 08:05 on 09 July 2010  Report this post
OOps! Will correct that, Findy.

Thanks for your kind comments.

Jennifer

Bunbry at 16:04 on 10 July 2010  Report this post
A nice portrait of a nasty vicar Jennifer - glad he met his end so ingloriously!

Nick

PS I'm quite enjoying the new sitcom 'Rev' which has a nice vicar!

tusker at 21:34 on 10 July 2010  Report this post
Thanks Nick.

Past experience makes me suspicious of 'nice' vicars.

Jennifer

crowspark at 23:08 on 10 July 2010  Report this post
Hi Jennifer

As a child I was taken to a fire & brimstone, hell and damnation church. I would run out shouting Bart-like, I didn't do it! It was all very well being told off for what you had done wrong without some eejit telling you you were eternally damned for something you hadn't even done yet.
Good mood piece.
Thanks for bringing back horrible memories ;

Bill

tusker at 06:52 on 11 July 2010  Report this post
Thanks Bill.

Not so long ago, at a C of E funeral serice, mourners were castigated for only attending church for such occasions. The vicar was fortyish and very ardent.

Then we were asked to pass the plate around for a 'silent collection'.

I thought it meant as in quiet. It was only when I saw notes being put in that I twigged.

Jennifer





Elbowsnitch at 13:04 on 11 July 2010  Report this post
Powerful stuff, Jennifer - I can see this making a good scene in a film or on TV. Think 'who's mother' in the 4th para should be 'whose mother'?

Frances


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