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After Sales Snagging

by Mickey 

Posted: 28 July 2010
Word Count: 222


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Every time we sell a house a purchaser will start to grouse -
his rads are leaking; plumbing knocks; he just can’t set his time switch clock;
the cover’s off the main drain trap; he hasn’t got an outside tap.
But, when told what the cost will be, he yells at us abusively.
And then the man in quite a rage is thumbing through the Yellow Pages,
trying to tie down the rates of local plumbers and their Mates.
But, when he finds their prices steep, with sickly smile to us he’ll creep,
explaining that he hadn’t meant to treat us with quite such contempt,
and could we possibly arrange to have our plumber check his drains?
We answer through a clenched teeth smile, “We’ll send one round in just a while”.
“It needs to be the afternoon, and could you make it pretty soon?”
He says he’s taking Wednesday off, to check we’ve boarded out the loft.
He can’t afford to lose more pay, so send the plumber round that day.
Then when his plumbing’s rectified, instead of being satisfied,
this loud-mouthed, smart-arsed, awkward cuss, will boast he’s got one up on us,
and we’ll get all his neighbours phoning and of the plumbing they’ll be moaning!
What can we do but stoically grin – The cash-strapped builder just can’t win!






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Comments by other Members



woodsville at 20:13 on 28 July 2010  Report this post
Hi Mike

Ye - the internal rhyme keeps the consistency or sense of focus - acting like a funnels tapered bit. In the second line perhaps plumbing knocks needs to come at the beginning of the line in order to balance with end of the line.

You could break the internal rhyme scheme to focus the readers attention.

Going through my imagination was the sing song of music hall or am-dram, perhaps you could make some reference to that.

Patrick


SharpScissors at 13:18 on 29 July 2010  Report this post
This is fun. And great that it comes from the other angle. How often do we, aas consumers, whinge & whine aboout the service we recieve from builders, plumbers, etc (I know I have) without really thinking things through from their end. And I'm sure the buiilder in your poem isn't a shark... Not sure I believe 'cash-strapped' though...

V`yonne at 21:48 on 30 July 2010  Report this post
I was with you all the way and then
The cash-strapped builder just can’t win!


Haha - doubting that ;

Mickey at 09:46 on 02 August 2010  Report this post
Thanks for all your comments. Regarding the 'cash-strapped' you guys have no idea how dire the state of the building industry is in at the moment! I've worked in residential development all my working life as a house and layout designer. Banks are no longer lending to fund land purchase and things are pretty bleak. With regard to the content of the poem, I suppose that to the house buyer every little problem takes on monumental proportions, but to the builder these are just very insignificant issues that will be corrected as part of the sale. Oh well, I'll just have to hope that my poetry can support me when I'm made redundant!!! Thanks again for reading me
Mike


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