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Best Laid Plans

by M. Close 

Posted: 26 August 2010
Word Count: 249
Summary: For Jennifer's Song title challenge. The song is My Woman From Tokyo, Artist, Deep Purple. Not sure this is what you wanted....but here you go.....


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It should have been an easy job. Fly in, locate the target, plan three exit strategies, eliminate the target, get out. Three options for exit because, too many times, plan A becomes compromised, so rather than improvise plan B on the fly, I like to be prepared. On the rare occasion plan B also becomes unsuitable, I have plan C in my back pocket.....just in case. If plan C ends up in the toilet, then I improvise like a Jackie Chan fight scene and hope I get away clean!

That's how I met my woman from Tokyo. The target was eliminated, plan A was a no go, so I jumped to plan B, led a merry chase through crowded streets and ended up on the train to the border instead of a plane. A most interesting Japanese woman sat across from me and I struck up a conversation.....maybe it was her exotic looks, her spandex one piece outfit, or the dragon tattoo running from her ankle up her shapely leg till it disappeared under her way too short skirt, only to reappear again encircling her neck.

We got off the train together only to find I had not gotten away clean. She had friends waiting. I guess the target was more important than I thought. Now, they have me waiting in a dark room and I know what's coming. The room has loose floorboards. No time to make plans. I'll slip out through the floor and improvise from there.






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Comments by other Members



tusker at 07:13 on 28 August 2010  Report this post
I really liked this pacey flash, Mike.

Assassin about to be assassinated, lured into a trap by a modern day Madam Butterfly.

Loved the ending. So cool is that man.

Jennifer

Neezes at 09:59 on 29 August 2010  Report this post
You get a really good idea of character here despite the length, with the plan A/B/C thing and so on. It works well - would work well as the opening of a longer short story too, I think. Nice one, Mike.

Prospero at 10:54 on 30 August 2010  Report this post
Hi Mike

So the best laid plans...

I liked the Jackie Chan allusion. Even more fun than his films are the out-takes where you see him having take after take of some stunt or other.

This piece definitely has legs, if you should think of extending it.

Best

Prosp

Desormais at 11:13 on 31 August 2010  Report this post
Great line about the tattoo!

Loved it.
Sandra

M. Close at 07:26 on 01 September 2010  Report this post
Thank you all for commenting.
Actually this is the really really short version. I'm hoping to get the longer version finished.....well.....sometime soon

Mike


LMJT at 21:58 on 04 September 2010  Report this post
Hi Mike,

This is a great, really readble flash.

Loved this line:

I improvise like a Jackie Chan fight scene


Only nit is with this line:

A most interesting Japanese woman sat across from me and I struck up a conversation


This jarred with me because 'A most interesting' is quite a strange (and telling) way to describe someone, particularly when you go on to show us her exotic, unusual appearance so well.

I think we need to see this woman through the eyes of your MC - as you've done - as soon as he sees her. So, maybe 'A Japanese woman sat down opposite me. She was wearing spandex one piece outfit, or the dragon tattoo running from her ankle up her shapely leg till it disappeared under her way too short skirt, only to reappear again encircling her neck.'

Anyway, just a suggestion.

Thanks for the read.

Liam


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