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by tusker 

Posted: 01 September 2010
Word Count: 12
Summary: For August Callenge: Haiku for Changes

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Robin sings his autumn song
on a bough bent with
ripened apples

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Comments by other Members

V`yonne at 14:15 on 01 September 2010  Report this post
Jennifer, I think that's another lovely haiku. I would make only one suggestion that would abbreviate the first line:

Robin sings autumn

It says the same thing shorter and it's very immediate.

I love the thought of the red breast in the ripened apples - that what good haiku is all about! You don't spell it out - you suggest it to the reader's mind. I was saying to Joanie that I'm going to post a link soon to a HAIKU competiton - maybe you should write some more and have a go!

Nella at 16:27 on 01 September 2010  Report this post
Beautiful image, Jennifer! I love it as is, but Oonah's suggestion is nice, too.

joanie at 18:32 on 01 September 2010  Report this post
Hi Jennifer - this is a beautiful image. I, too, picked up on the red apples and breast. Lovely. I wish I could send a photo of my crab apple tree, which is brimming with fruit as I write. I'm busy collecting jam jars!

Have a go at the Haiku competition - I'm looking out for Oonah's link.


Findy at 07:32 on 02 September 2010  Report this post
This is lovely Jennifer, liked Oonah's suggestion for the first line.

Great image, I agree - you should send it out.


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