Morning by tusker - WriteWords.org.uk

Morning

by tusker ( 22715 )

Posted: 01 September 2010
Word Count: 12
Summary: For August Callenge: Haiku for Changes

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

Robin sings his autumn song
on a bough bent with
ripened apples

Bookmark this work

Bookmark this Author

Tell a friend

Comments by other Members

Posted by : V`yonne at 14:15 on 01 September 2010

Jennifer, I think that's another lovely haiku. I would make only one suggestion that would abbreviate the first line:

Robin sings autumn

It says the same thing shorter and it's very immediate.

I love the thought of the red breast in the ripened apples - that what good haiku is all about! You don't spell it out - you suggest it to the reader's mind. I was saying to Joanie that I'm going to post a link soon to a HAIKU competiton - maybe you should write some more and have a go!

Read the WriteWords interview with Oonah Joslin (V`yonne)

Posted by : Nella at 16:27 on 01 September 2010

Beautiful image, Jennifer! I love it as is, but Oonah's suggestion is nice, too.
Robin

Posted by : joanie at 18:32 on 01 September 2010

Hi Jennifer - this is a beautiful image. I, too, picked up on the red apples and breast. Lovely. I wish I could send a photo of my crab apple tree, which is brimming with fruit as I write. I'm busy collecting jam jars!

Have a go at the Haiku competition - I'm looking out for Oonah's link.

joanie

Posted by : Findy at 07:32 on 02 September 2010

This is lovely Jennifer, liked Oonah's suggestion for the first line.

Great image, I agree - you should send it out.

findy

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

Other work by tusker:

...view all work by tusker