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Word Play

by firethorne 

Posted: 03 May 2011
Word Count: 499
Summary: Just a bit of fun messing with linguistic theory. There are billions of books and articles written for N-T's, very little written for Aspies. This is an Aspie story, (fun) all are welcome to read. Space-Time. Language-Thought. Penrose Rhomb. Strongest possible missing word search as well !:)

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WPC Sheila Bromley had been about to say something but the phrase eluded her. She’d handed the laptop back to the young couple sitting on the bench. Neither of them had said thank you or made eye contact with her. “Anyway,” Shelia continued, “this is classed as robbery.” She gestured to the gang of louts who were sauntering towards the park gates,“and I can’t do anything unless you agree to press charges.”


Sheila tried another approach .” There's a special school on Park Road. Those kids get bullied by these yobs on their way home. I’m the Community Officer, that’s why I was waiting here. Will you help me?”

"A unit of Lower Spectrum children from the school alerted Central Command to the problem . We are dealing with it.“ The young man replied

“I don’t understand,”Shelia said.

“We held an international online emergency meeting , we’ve decided to modify Homo-sapiens. The global countdown’s scheduled in forty eight hours." Said the young man."This is how evolution works,we're not doing anything wrong,” he added.

Okaay, these guys had to be from the adult sheltered housing project,Shelia thought. “So what were you going to do exactly?”

“We’ve hacked you.”

“Computers ?”

The girl spoke rapidly . “No, we’re field officers from respective combat units . We’ve re-engineered your linguistic-cognitive structures. We discovered Language-thought is four dimensional. Ling-Com determined a universal deep structure and self replicating pattern, so in this respect Language-Thought behaves like DNA but structurally it's remarkably similar to the Penrose Rhomb. It was the relationship between Arabic Ruba'i quatrains and fifteenth century Islamic tiling that helped us develop the approach. The rest was straightforward, like overwriting your biogrammer. Homo Sap's didn’t notice the transition, hence you are not aware of it . We can now linguistically reprogramme you to do, or believe whatever we want.”

The young man hugged his laptop and picked up the thread. “ I’m from Web-Com . We introduced the modified L-T structures onto strategic sites, like high volume pornography sites and and chat rooms. When it went viral standard human language-thought only took seventy eight hours to globally reconfigure. Isolated pockets remain but nothing significant.”

Engender trust, thought sheila, extending her hand. “Come on, I’ll walk you back home ”

“Constable we have already dealt with those yobs. You take it for-granted you are L-Ting in English right now because you comprehend. You are not,and would it surprise you to know this conversation actually took place five minutes ago and those louts never really walked away?

The young girl said something like “uraduck." For the second time Shelia felt like she was searching for an intangible word or phrase and she paused again in her train of thought.

In front of her eyes the couple vanished.

There was a loud quacking noise behind Shelia. When she spun around she saw the gang of bullying louts bobbing their heads out of the scummy pond water , their mouths open as if asking for bread.

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Comments by other Members

Prospero at 23:32 on 03 May 2011  Report this post
Ahh! Cognitive slippage. A common side-effect of sublimnal pre-conception. WPC Bromley anticipated a linear causal construct and thus was unprepared for the reductio ad absurdum which resulted from the fourth dimensional shift of a tri- dimensional reality. Little wonder she couldn't get her ducks in a row.

Nanu nanu shazblit


firethorne at 07:11 on 04 May 2011  Report this post

Thank you Prospero, I wasn't sure if anyone would get the idea.

Please feel free to have a go at the missing word competition if you have 'time'.


Prospero at 08:07 on 04 May 2011  Report this post
Is the missing word: Disestablishmentarianism?


dharker at 19:10 on 04 May 2011  Report this post
LOL! Thats all... LOL!

Love the idea that language can be used to reprogram mankind Andy... NLP turbocharged! A fun read with so much to think about. Thank You!


firethorne at 19:51 on 04 May 2011  Report this post

Thanks Dharker. It was fun to write and I fancied doing a bit of tiling . Check it out.

firethorne at 20:04 on 04 May 2011  Report this post

Prosp , nice try, but erm no. I'll try and work it in if no one else suggests a stronger solution.

V`yonne at 20:31 on 04 May 2011  Report this post
I'm no good at puzzles - rubics cubes? suduko (God how I hate sudko!) Well don't eat it then! cognitive dissonance? Something to do with the mad arab Abdul Alasread? or is it Andre Breton? Nope it's 32 plus the square route of a pork pie. She meant to say 'uradrunk'? Tell you what - I think I'll have a whiskey and try again later but it should go to Bewildering Stories if anywhere ArfArfHick. Oh maybe I justadawhiksey

fiona_j at 22:32 on 04 May 2011  Report this post

The only reason I followed this is because I watch Dr Who and that primes you for wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff (or in this case wibbly-wobbly lingy-langy).

I like the way the policewoman is the laymans way into the story. Whereas those that could keep up anyway, the people on the bench are the way into the story. So, basically, you can relate to the story from either level.

Also, I believe the missing word is ouchmyheadhurts.

Fi x


PS - I have a book called Wordplay - it's about ambigrams.

Prospero at 06:15 on 05 May 2011  Report this post
Oh right.

Dali Did the Cruxifiction of Christ on an expanded Hypercube.

I have another bit of the puzzle now.




I am hooked on Sudoku. But I do the books of puzzles from back to front. Hardest first.

tusker at 16:23 on 05 May 2011  Report this post
Loved this Fi.

Must admit got a bit lost but then with the explantation.

Great visual ending for me.


firethorne at 19:20 on 05 May 2011  Report this post

Prosp. That would be an interesting piece of artwork - '4D' human being , get a bit dizzy watching said human going around a lot, though. Could rotate Leonardo's 'bloke in circle' like that, and switch it up from 2-3-4D and back again , doing 360 turns like he was inside one of those plastic balls that roll down a hill . Use holograms . Give kiddies Playstation type controls to operate.

Think galleries might like that kind of stuff. A lot of mucking about though.

firethorne at 19:29 on 05 May 2011  Report this post
Tusker .

Thank you. There is a really wide spectrum of readers. Like you could ask a group of people to sit down and watch Star Wars then ask what was it about. Most would say it's a kind of love-action- good V evil story set in space . Some however would go "huh , sorry, I was trying to figure out what the red light was for on the front of R2D2. Do you think it was a low frequency pulse optical laser?"

firethorne at 19:55 on 05 May 2011  Report this post
Thanks Fiona

"Wibbly wobbly ", loads of people sit all the way through the gooey stuff to get to the technical bits.

There isn't actually a missing word. This is a Aspie story. 499 would be enough to trigger some people's attention and they'd be almost subliminally searching for it whilst they are reading which would hopefully make them feel some empathy for the police lady . (Who is very nice for making the effort to help those kids and wasn't brain-hacked into believing she was a duck. In another story something nice will come back to her.)

There is absolutely no foundation for the wibbly wobbly in this story any more than there is for the TARDIS or Dilithium crystals . Mind you, we did get slidy doors and mobile phones
out of Star Trek and those head cameras out of Aliens . Well there might be a little foundation but like what would you do with this stuff , even if you could alter the geometry
you'd end up with gobledy gook , which maybe is what ....


firethorne at 17:35 on 06 May 2011  Report this post

Oh now that is deep and very beautiful Oonah. Sings to ya.

Bunbry at 14:15 on 07 May 2011  Report this post
I like the start and the end, but have to admit the middle bit confused me! I don't know what an aspie is unfortunately, so that didn't help!!


Manusha at 22:01 on 07 May 2011  Report this post
Hi Andy,

The first time I read this through it made perfect sense. I read it a few times more to find it meant more perfect senses. After another read it made such a perfect sense that I wondered what sense meant. I mused if that was, or could be, but then thought yes, why not? As you do.

While or whilst this story says what it must do in order to communicate its need, I felt some clarifying of terms and or conditions would help in the transfer of transitional thought to the fulfilment of complete self-agreement.

My humble offering is meant in the spirit of pursuing any disambiguation that if not addressed could be attested by.

I love how Sheila is unknowingly hiding her own identity from herself by alternately being referred to as either Sheila or Shelia.

Okaay, these guys had to be from the adult sheltered housing project,Shelia thought.

I thought that too, but wondered if she could do her thought between ‘Okaay’ and ‘these guys, etc…’

‘’We’ve hacked you.’’

“Computers ?”

I can see how you’ve slyly omitted the words before ‘Computers’. But it’s still decipherable as – ‘’What are you on about, you whackos?’’ Perhaps you could add this in again, just so it’s clearer.

The girl spoke rapidly

This and the paragraph that follows is where the nub of the situation starts to be revealed. Yet once again the a line is omitted. Perhaps because four dimensional L-Ting is hard to extrapolate from Shelia’s thoughts, which must’ve been – ‘Christ, that’s all I need, another bloody speed freak!’

Engender trust, thought sheila, extending her hand. “Come on, I’ll walk you back home ”

Again hiding her name with a small ‘s’, Sheila forgets to add – ‘’I’ll walk you back home to the asylum.’’

In front of her eyes the couple vanished.

Not sure about this line, perhaps it could be something like – 'between her eyes the couple varnished.'

What they varnished could then be the bread that came from the mouths that came bobbing from heads of bullying louts ganging in a spin. With a quack.

Great stuff, Andy, as always. You are just out there, man, and I love it! ;

Regards, Manushandy

crowspark at 08:53 on 08 May 2011  Report this post
I'm a duck!
Feeling a little dizzy and a tad quackers.
Deliciously convoluted fun.
Thanks for the read.

firethorne at 09:17 on 08 May 2011  Report this post


You credit it me with a lot more than I'd intended. I can't always see the spellings and
Shelia is such a sneaky word. It's good one though because you can quickly change an unwanted 'she' into a Shelia . I will change those. Thanks for that.

You are so forensic ,you can spot where I've taken words out to get the number count down and you can guess what they were!

It occurs to me there is a bit too much explanation and too little story for most readers. Not enough meat on the bone to incise and gnaw off and really enjoy. So I'll work on it. Maybe do another version.

In the next challenge I am going to try write something very simple and very human. I really liked that story where the old guy comes back and takes the plate out of the 'phone box. Something like that.


firethorne at 09:23 on 08 May 2011  Report this post

Thanks Crowspark . I got a bit dizzy too in there.

Many thanks for taking the time to read.

Manusha at 12:58 on 08 May 2011  Report this post
Hi Andy,

Yeah, that word count can be tricky sometimes, something just has to be snipped out!

I forgot to say about the hypercube, that's really cool. I was trying to follow one of the faces as it turned, it's strange.


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