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Meet the Farquhars

by Gerry 

Posted: 04 May 2011
Word Count: 646
Summary: Hello. I'm new to Flash II. An entry for Sandra's challenge.


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Meet the Farquhars

That grandfather clock was smart, too, thought Dave. Nice bit of walnut. Restful. Civilised. Now then: One across: Woman Hitler mistook for a relative (11). Not much cop at these cryptic jobbies. A woman’s name maybe? Bloody long one if it was.
Mr Farquhar bustled into the living-room: bald and round, with a military-type ‘tache. ‘No need to get up, David,’ he said. ‘Sherry?’
‘Lovely.’
‘Jolly good,’ said Mr Farquhar, opening the mahogany drinks cabinet. Dave recalled how his mum used to keep a bottle of Tio Pepe under the sink.
‘An amontillado,’ Mr Farquhar said, handing him the glass.
‘Right,’ he said, taking it by the stem.
‘Hermione’ll be down in two shakes, I expect.’ Mr Farquhar sat down on the leather Chesterfield.
‘Lovely,’ he said, and sipped.
‘Reading the paper?’
‘Looking at the crossword.’
‘Oh, confounded tricky things. Not my cup of tea.’ Mr Farquhar frowned, worried. ‘I say, you’ve not filled any of it in, have you?’
‘Oh, no.’
‘Thank God. Hilda’d blow a gasket. Very fond of the Telegraph crossword of an evening.’
‘Just looking.’
‘Look away, old chap.’
The clock ticked. Sipping some more sherry, he stared at the clue again. Evangeline? Marguerite?
Mr Farquhar coughed, and said, ‘So. The building trade, is it?’
‘Yes.’
‘Property investment, that sort of thing?’
‘Just building things. You know ... a builder.’
‘Oh,’ he said, frowning again. ‘A builder ... Ah.’
Hermione was at the door now. Dave looked over. Gorgeous. Classy. Little black dress. The first time he’d met her he thought she was way too posh. But, in time, he found that he not only fancied her, but liked her, too – not stuck up at all, one of the lads, a laugh. And for the last month or so, he knew he was crazy for her, gaga. She was the biz. His lady. And, best of all, she was nuts for him, too. Marriage: they couldn’t wait. It was going to be bliss.
‘Daddy,’ she said, ‘Mummy says I shouldn’t be wearing this. Says I look like an absolute trollop.’
‘Does she? Well ... maybe you should ...’
‘She’s bloody-well not making me go out looking like some frump on Dave’s arm ...’ her voice trailed off as Mrs Farquhar came in.
Handsome woman in her way, Dave thought; be nice if Hermione ended up as well-preserved as this. But she also had the look of a school teacher from some old film: all tweeds and pearls, and dried up like an old apple.
He knew he had to stand up now. It was expected. Demanded, even.
She came over, hand extended: the duchess at the ball.
‘David, is it?’
‘Dave,’ he said as he took it.
Dave?’ she said, turning to her husband. ‘Do we know a Dave, Kenneth?’
‘Erm, no darling. I don’t ...’
‘Ah, but we do,’ she said, turning back, pointing at his chin with a long crimson nail. ‘That dreadful oik who comes to fix the drains when the croquet lawn gets flooded. He’s a Dave, isn’t he? His trousers don’t fit him properly round the back. Builder’s ... behind, do they call it, David?’ He nodded, trying to force a smile. Her eyes were on the Telegraph now, still in his hand. ‘I see you’ve been looking at the crossword.’
‘Just a glance. Well, just the first clue.’
‘Show me,’ she said, holding out her hand. He gave it to her: a naughty kid turning stolen jam tarts out of his pockets.
A moment of scrutiny. ‘Easy,’ she said. ‘Very easy. An anagram.’
‘Yeah?’
Yes,’ she said. ‘An anagram of Hitler Woman. Mistook tells you that. Obvious, I should have thought. The letters rearranged make the word. Any idea what word, David?
‘Not a clue.’
A look from her now like she was Severus Snape beating you at ping-pong. ‘Mother-in-law,’ she said.








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Comments by other Members



Desormais at 07:10 on 04 May 2011  Report this post
Very clever! A terrific portrait of the meeting between two generations and two classes.

‘Dave?’ she said, turning to her husband. ‘Do we know a Dave, Kenneth?’


I could almost hear this in my head.

Great job. Thanks for the read.
Sandra

dharker at 07:55 on 04 May 2011  Report this post
Love this Gerry! I loved the dialogue throughout, very staid and stilted as most conversations with the out-laws often are. Like Sandra I loved the "Do we know a Dave, Kenneth?". Very clever anagram too LOL! This is a great read Gerry - Thank You!

Dave / David


Gerry at 07:59 on 04 May 2011  Report this post


Thanks, Sandra. I wasn't sure about it at first. Glad you liked it.

Gerry.

Gerry at 08:06 on 04 May 2011  Report this post

Thanks very much for the comments, Dave. Much appreciated.



firethorne at 19:39 on 04 May 2011  Report this post

Lovely snapshot of social class in all its snidey glory. I think some symmetry's required here. Only fair,Dave should be allowed to get his own back in a sequel and I'd love to read that even more than I enjoyed reading this.



Andy

fiona_j at 22:41 on 04 May 2011  Report this post
Liking the clashing of classes in this story. I do also like the way that the dad is not the issue, but the mum, which I think is true to life.

The only thing that confused me a little is the names. I think it's a personal thing, I tend to lose where I am if the names are too similar (Linda and Hilda). Maybe you were after the similarity, but it doesn't work for me. I can't even follow my own stories if I give them similar names!!

I love the Dave/David thing. It's so true!

Fi x

Gerry at 13:08 on 05 May 2011  Report this post


Thanks very much Fi,

I changed Linda to Hermione - maybe because Severus pops up at the end ...



Prospero at 16:34 on 06 May 2011  Report this post
Very clever, Gerry. Didn't see that ending coming and that anagram was excellent.

Yes, very good indeed.

Best

John

tusker at 06:45 on 07 May 2011  Report this post
A great read, Gerry. Really enjoyed.

Excellent characterisation and dialogue. Clever ending. Made me laugh.

Jennifer

Gerry at 06:54 on 07 May 2011  Report this post

Thank you, Jennifer. Very kind of you. Glad you enjoyed it.

Gerry.

Gerry at 06:58 on 07 May 2011  Report this post


Thanks very much, John. Glad it went down well.

Gerry.


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