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Blind Date

by dharker 

Posted: 17 May 2011
Word Count: 329


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Bill had been persuaded by his mate Chris that the blind date would be ‘a great idea’. Now he stood in the car park, terrified and thinking seriously about climbing into the car and going home. He was regretting saying ‘yes’ to this mad idea and yet here he was, dressed in his best suit, outside the Hammer and Nail, with the smell of soap and his after shave pervading the air. Music from the “Abba Revival” organised by the PCC spilled onto the car park.

“Hi Bill! We’re over here!”

He turned and walked towards the three silhouetted figures waiting for him at the entrance.

Bill had lost his wife two years ago to cancer after twenty five years of marriage. He’d met Maggie in secondary school and they’d been inseparable ever since. Until the illness came along and took her away that is. He’d been totally lost thereafter. His daughter Kate helped him cope of course, at seventeen going on forty she fussed and fretted like some Mother Hen, bless her. This evening, as his nerves again got the better of him, it was Kate who straightened his tie, brushed his collar and pushed him out the door.

“Go on Dad! For goodness sake get out and enjoy yourself! Mum would want you to be happy - it’s time you moved on”.

“Hi Chris! Hello Siobhan!”, he replied and turned nervously towards his ‘date’ for the evening.

“Bill, this is Siobhan’s friend Liz; Liz, this is Bill”

"Hello Liz", he said as he went to shake her hand.

As he caught sight of her for the first time, time itself seemed to slow and stop. She must have been mid blink, because the one thing Bill would never forget of their first evening together, was that moment and the slow sensual opening of her eyelids, revealing the palest of blue irises and the inky darkness of pupils that simply swept away his doubts and fears.

“Hello Bill…”






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Comments by other Members



tusker at 06:28 on 18 May 2011  Report this post
A lovely tale, Dave, with the promise of romance to come.

It has an 'Aaaah' sighing end to it. Enjoyed.

Jennifer

dharker at 07:03 on 18 May 2011  Report this post
Thanks Jennifer! Glad you enjoyed it!

Dave

fiona_j at 10:33 on 18 May 2011  Report this post
How lovely. I could almost hear the romantic music and see the slow mo blinking at the end.

Fi x

Gerry at 14:54 on 18 May 2011  Report this post

Hello Dave,

That genuinely brightened up what had been a bit of a rubbish day. Thank you!

Gerry.



dharker at 17:57 on 18 May 2011  Report this post
Thanks Gerry! and a comment like that has just brightened my rubbish day! Thank You!

Dave

Cornelia at 18:14 on 18 May 2011  Report this post
So unexpected and yet so evocative.

time itself seemed to slow and stop.


Great!

Sheila

dharker at 18:19 on 18 May 2011  Report this post
Thanks Sheila! Glad you liked it!
Dave

firethorne at 19:34 on 18 May 2011  Report this post

Good incidental use of "The Nail" .

I really like the deeper ideas running through this . It's slightly ambiguous, but:

1. If Bill is partially sighted then what he can see is experienced to the same degree of intensity as a fully sighted person.

2. It raises questions in the readers mind about how people with a different set of perceptions experience them. For example what would a fully blind person feel in this moment.

The moment itself is handled really well, the perception of time slows for us in these moments.

What I really like was you used words efficiently and didn't feel the need to pad it out to the limit. This was enough to tell the story and capture the moment.

Andy

<Added>


Regarding the ambiguity : what I was thinking , if this was in a magazine then unfortunately a lot of readers skim through stuff and it could be read simply
as a snapshot moment of falling in love and enjoyed for that alone. A reader looking deeper might find a whole field of things to contemplate about how each individual has a unique model of their world going on inside their head.

That's a lot of information and inspiration to convey in less than five hundred words.

So well done for that.

Andy

dharker at 19:42 on 18 May 2011  Report this post
LOL! Thanks Andy! (I think! )

V`yonne at 17:34 on 19 May 2011  Report this post
Aw that's so sweet all of a warm glow

dharker at 17:56 on 19 May 2011  Report this post
Thanks Oonah! Really glad you liked it!

Dave


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