Login   Sign Up 



 

Love bites and barbecues

by dharker 

Posted: 17 June 2011
Word Count: 500


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


Jonathan stood outside the big house, set back at the end of a secluded tree lined avenue. Inside the bell rang, deep and sonorous, and Jarvis the family butler answered the door.

‘You rang Sir?’

‘Oh! Am I at the right house for Amy Previm?’

Jonathan was somewhat taken aback. He knew Ames was a classy bird but he didn’t think for a moment she was this posh. They’d met at Rumours, the nightclub on Bewdlow high street the night before and they’d hit it off straight away. She was gorgeous, bright and very funny; everything Jonathan looked for in a girl. Most of all she seemed to be smitten with him too and Jonathan couldn’t believe his luck.

All too soon the evening had gone and he remembered asking her for her phone number and her whispering mischievously in his ear, and then the taxi home to Jonathan’s studio flat with Amy snuggled up beside him. He’d gone to the kitchen to make coffee for them both, and was thrilled when instead of finding her on the sofa where he’d left her, she’d appeared naked at the gallery bannister beside his bed. She was such an enthusiastic lover. In the throes of ecstasy, he’d been bitten, scratched and completely ravaged. And he’d loved every second of it.

And then, late morning, after a brunch of orange juice and a bacon sandwich, she’d left having first invited him to her home where they were having a family barbecue that evening.

‘Be sure you come Jonathan! I’m relying on you!’ she’d said as she smiled and walked out of the door.

‘I’ll be there don’t you worry!’, he assured her, then stood watching her walk down the street. Having showered, he stood by the mirror and shaved, and couldn’t help but chuckle as he found scratches and teeth marks in the most outrageous places on his body. What a woman!

‘Do come through Sir, Miss Amy is expecting you’, Jarvis took his coat and led him across the plush entrance hall and through double doors to the back garden. Amy was standing with a small group of people, behind them a huge black dog played with a large bone. They were clustered around an impossibly large brick barbecue, from whose glowing coals occasional crackles and sparks flew.

‘Jonathan! You came!’, and she hurried across to plant a kiss firmly on his lips.

Jonathan was introduced to Amy’s parents; her father, Alexandru, was a member of East European aristocracy and her mother Adriana, a Harley Street Haemotologist. Then, disconcertingly, Amy’s 11 year old sister Alina had said hello and smiled at him in a strange, predatory way. The whole family gathered around as he was finally introduced to Aurelia, Amy’s surprisingly spritely 90 years old gran.

‘I’m very pleased to meet you Mrs. Previm’.

‘I’m pleased to meet you too’, she smiled, a pair of long canine teeth appearing across thin palid lips.

‘I was wondering when the meat course would arrive’.






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



fiona_j at 11:21 on 17 June 2011  Report this post
Hello,

What a delicously dark story! There were hints something wasn't quite right from the line "you rang", which reminded me of lurch!

The detail of his passion and anticipation was well executed and the story well paced all the way to the last line.

Well done,

Fi

dharker at 11:40 on 17 June 2011  Report this post
LOL! Funnily enough I was thinking of the Adams family as I wrote this! Thanks Fi for taking the time to read and comment - appreciated!

Dave

Desormais at 12:18 on 17 June 2011  Report this post
This made me laugh. I really didn't think that was where it was going, perhaps I just got too wrapped up in the night before. Great flash Dave!

Sandra

dharker at 12:39 on 17 June 2011  Report this post
Thanks Sandra!

I guess I'll never make a horror writer if people keep laughing at my efforts! *chuckle*

I was thinking about working in "My Grandma, what big teeth you have..." but decided with the word count that this would do! So glad you enjoyed it!

Dave

V`yonne at 11:12 on 18 June 2011  Report this post
You gave it away with A Lucard at the start. I still enjoyed it but I'd try losing that name. B Lodo or something. Cracking story though.

dharker at 11:45 on 18 June 2011  Report this post
LOL! Not sure if you liked it or not Oonah... I wasn't sure if people would pick on everyone have an 'A' name and the Lucard surname. Serious question: would a name like this make a huge difference to a story? I could make her mum a Haemotologist, call them the Premvi family?

Thanks for reading anyway

Dave

V`yonne at 14:44 on 18 June 2011  Report this post
I liked the story, Dave I just 'got it' way too soon because of that name. It could have been Carma Duly or Lucy Darma but Alucard is well known.

dharker at 15:02 on 18 June 2011  Report this post
Ahh! OK... change made... thanks Oonah!

Dave


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .