|
|
 |
Taken in
Posted: 02 January 2004
Word Count: 61
|
Font Size
|
|
Your disingenuous dialectic
spells my downfall -
its barbarous intent,
devoid of true essence,
deranges all belief.
A liar, you,
a player who
sees only that
of self-gratification.
Your disingenuous dialectic
leads to heartache -
so captivated am I,
so blinded by avarice,
my search for piety is ended.
A liar, I,
to myself,
led astray by my need
for fortification.
|
Comments by other Members
| |
 The Walrus at 10:17 on 02 January 2004
 Report this post
|
I like this Bobo. For me it conveys, in the first stanza hurt, a degree of disgust and anger. In the second, self awareness. Certainly, the speaker has clarity of this particular situation.
I really like the structure, it's like a mirror image. It also has great rhythm.
The Walrus
| |
Fearless at 11:41 on 02 January 2004
Report this post
|
BoBo
I can only echo and endorse the comments from The Walrus.
Fearless
| |
Bobo at 12:05 on 02 January 2004
Report this post
|
Walrus / Fearless - I thank you both. Self-awareness, yes, and the true choices that brings with it. We often blame others for deluding us when really we were in on the lie all the time.
BoBo x
| |
roovacrag at 14:20 on 02 January 2004
Report this post
|
Ouch..............averice is not good warmth is snug and calm.One day i will see the calm in you and your poems will change from anger to placid.
xxxxxxx Alice
| |
Bobo at 15:00 on 02 January 2004
Report this post
|
Alice - thanks for your comment - maybe you're right, maybe I AM angry...will have to think about that as not aware of anger. Not sure I'll ever be one to do 'placid' though!
BoBo x
| |
dr_mandrill at 00:11 on 05 January 2004
Report this post
|
The words are well chosen and the structure is masterful and demonstrates your point very well.
If it's anger behind this then you've used it very constructively. Stay angry. Picture me emptying coffe grounds from my cafetiere into your keyboard if it helps. And snapping your pencils.
dm
| |
Bobo at 09:09 on 05 January 2004
Report this post
|
Dr M - Glad you liked this piece. Never think of myself as 'angry'...more 'pissed-off', tho' I s'pose it's much the same thing.
Snapping my pencils, huh? That's fightin' talk!
BoBo x
| |
| |
Comments by other Members
