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Nelson the one eyed turkey pirate

by JessicaPaul 

Posted: 16 June 2012
Word Count: 493
Summary: follow on from nelson the one eyed turkey chick.

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Down at the bottom of the garden,
On a hot and sunny day,
The mother hens’ and turkeys’ are laying
As their little, spring chicks play.

The game today is Pirate Island
And the turkey chicks are all so glad
That their captain’s the one eyed Turkey,
the infamous Nelson the Bad.

He’s the meanest pirate on the waters they say
He’s got more treasure than the hen named Horrible Nick
He’s so clever and cunning that he’ll
win the day by hatching a clever trick.

All the chicks in his crew
are too scared to fall out of rank.
They don’t want to be the ones
that he makes to walk the plank.

“Ahoy mateys” says Nelson.
“Don’t get in a flap
There’s treasure marked by an X
On my trusty, treasure map.”

His crew shout for joy
as they pile into their boat.
To get the treasure they must first
Take to the waters, sail and float.

“Captain” calls one of the crew,
“There’s a ship gaining from behind
They must have guessed that it
is treasure we’re going to find.”

All the chicks cry and yell
“What are we to do?”
But Nelson doesn’t worry
For plans, he has two.

“First we will turn our ship
And sail the other way.
There’s a cave around the corner where
We can wait ‘til the end of day.”

“And when they have lost our sight
And think that we have run,
They will go to sleep and that’s
when we will have our fun.”

True to Nelson’s word,
the other ship soon lost hope.
As the Horrible Nicks’ crew of hens slept,
Nelson threw a rope.

It caught on the ships sail pole
And the hook held it tight.
“Come!” said Nelson to his crew.
“Climb across and fight!”

Swords flew through the air
And pirates shouted loud.
The battle lasted all night long
Until the sun broke through the cloud.

At last it was decided
That no one side could win.
So each and every pirate
Shook hands with their chick kin.

As the hen’s ship sailed away
Nelson’s crew gave out a little sigh.
All but Nelson, who was smiling
Although the crew did not know why.

“Why are you smiling Captain?”
Asked one brave, young chick.
“We may not have won the battle.” Said Nelson
“But we won with a clever trick…”

“I knew that we could not win,
In a turkey against hen fight.
I knew it would last until morning
After a long and restless night…

I knew they’d be so tired
That they were bound to forget
That we were going to find treasure.
Now on your marks, get set…”

To the nearby island they sailed
And landed on the shore.
With shovels at the ready
Off they paced, one, two, three, and more…

When finally they saw the X
They could hardly wait
Wasn’t their captain clever?
Nelson the Bad, their one eyed turkey mate.

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Comments by other Members

EmmaH at 21:02 on 16 June 2012  Report this post
I thought this was a nice idea, and it's nice to see some poetry. However, I did find it a bit difficult to read some verses because of the scansion or beat of the lines. The rhymes are fine, but with some lines not the same length as the preceding one, it can be a bit jarring. I think in a poem like this it may be safest to stick to a definite rhythm of syllables in each line, which speeds up the pace and carries the reader through.

Nice images, though. I have ten hens, so I found it amusing!

SusieL at 21:06 on 16 June 2012  Report this post
This was a lovely read, very visual. I'm no expert on poetry so I can't really comment on that side, although I agree with Emma that a few tweaks to the beat of the lines might tighten the flow up a bit.

Shika at 21:31 on 16 June 2012  Report this post
Hi, I like the fact that Nelson outwitted the hens. I think this will work much better with a more regular rhyming pattern. Easier to type than do I know. Otherwise a very good story. S

Freebird at 13:42 on 17 June 2012  Report this post
I was interested to see that the first stanza is the same as in the previous Nelson story - quite a nice way to try different stories together - a bit like a pre-school TV programme where they always begin with the same introduction, e.g in Teletubbies. It makes a small child feel both excited, because they know the story's coming up, but also secure - because they can say those words themselves and they like repetition.

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