Death and Regret in the New Forest by Mickey

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Death and Regret in the New Forest

by Mickey

Posted: 05 March 2013
Word Count: 50

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I saw a dead deer in the road
with not a mark upon it;
not brought down by a hunter’s gun
but a speeding Beemer’s bonnet.

The driver hadn’t cared the least
his reckless driving cost
the life of this most noble beast -
Just his no claim bonus lost.

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Dave Morehouse at 19:31 on 16 March 2013 Report this post

I certainly agree with James' first-person-questions suggestion. It would draw the reader ever nearer the dead deer. That said, the narrative account of this as-is makes it seem cold, even distant. In that manner it relates well with the deer that is dead and also with the seemingly heartless affluent driver. In short, the tone and color of the poem mirrors the characters. If I were to niggle it would be with the word 'in' as it refers to the deer and the road. I know it's said commonly but deer are never truly 'in' the road. To my way of thought 'on' would be better and 'alongside' would be more accurate. The problem is mine since we see dead deer regularly where we live and i guess it's one of semantics. Either way it doesn't detract from a great poem. Dave

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