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The Bridge

by BaMc 

Posted: 27 June 2013
Word Count: 96
Summary: For week 208 Flash poetry. It's been a long winter!


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Scent of hawthorn in bloom pervades all,
connects me to all yesterday’s springs,
reacquaints me with gratitude for winter’s release -
olfactory equivalent of birdsong – chirrups
and cheeps echo and repeat. The whirr-whirr
of insects on wing or emitting from the riverbank
below this bridge where I clasp
the rail behind me, bold edge sharp in my palm;
paint and rust flake and fall. I stretch forward,
squeeze my shoulder blades towards one another.
Sun warms my face. Breeze lifts my hair,
cools my neck and I thrill
at the rustling abundance in the trees.






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 16:29 on 27 June 2013  Report this post
I could feel thst s t r e t c h

I like this bridge and it's a bridge to spring as well.

I think the odd word here and there could go and some could be added...

Scent of hawthorn flowers pervades all,
connects me to all yesterday�s springs,
reacquaints me with gratitude for winter�s release -
olfactory equivalent of birdsong � chirrups
and cheeps echo and repeat. The whirr



Maybe ( and I do love this section)
the rail behind me, bold edge sharp in my palm;
paint and rust flake and fall. I stretch forward,
squeeze my shoulder blades towards one another.
Sun warms my face. Breeze lifts my hair.


Not sure abundant is right... refreshing? rippled? fecund?

Nella at 17:00 on 27 June 2013  Report this post
Very evocative - the feel of Spring conjured up. I love that last line!
I agree with Oonah that "abundant" sounds a little off - but I can't think of a substitute!

Great to hear from you again, Barbara!

Robin

tusker at 17:03 on 27 June 2013  Report this post
You've all the senses here, Barbara, I can almost hear and smell them.

Loved the scene of the bridge and that movement, which most do without realising it, squeezing shoulder blades together which adds movement. I can feel the writer's thrill.

Jennifer



BaMc at 17:42 on 27 June 2013  Report this post
Thanks so much for your comments. Agree Oonah, had a wee tussle with the odd word here and there. I'll have a think and edit it later. It's great to be back here, Robin, thanks!

BaMc at 19:20 on 27 June 2013  Report this post
I edited it a little, following Oonah's & Robin's comments.

Artista at 15:01 on 29 June 2013  Report this post
This is lovely Barbara. I can hear the whir of insects and that unsettling feeling as rust flakes...
Jo

V`yonne at 15:02 on 29 June 2013  Report this post
Oh that's a bit good now. You could try EDP targeted for spring (but not yet) leave it til November/Dec ;


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