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Boobs and Pies
Posted: 20 January 2004
Word Count: 78
Summary: Written with the hysterical, pink and fluffy encouragement from wife and sister.
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I love big tits.
People may think that this is unsophisticated.
But to be in contact with what is truly in your heart is the most sophisticated thing of all.
I love pies.
Apple pies.
Especially when they are cooked by women with big tits,
And especially when they are cooked especially for me.
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,
But the way to a woman’s heart is to eat her pies.
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Comments by other Members
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 The Walrus at 21:58 on 20 January 2004
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The profundity of this piece made me weep. It's depth and understanding rendered me speechless.
The Walrus
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roovacrag at 11:15 on 21 January 2004
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Marcus i fell off the chair reading this. Now i know why my pies are well liked not cos i was a chef but for my anatomy.I really liked it,my son will as well. Well done. x Alice
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Bobo at 13:58 on 21 January 2004
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Marcus - such a gloriously brazen piece. Like it a lot. Maybe one of the girlies should write a piece about the allure of large cocks and choccy fudge cake...
BoBo x
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roger at 14:41 on 21 January 2004
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Just found this...it's wonderful! So bloody funny...especially the line - 'especially when they are cooked by women with big tits'. Okay, I'm shallow and crude, but this was greeeeeeat, absolutely loved it!!!
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miffle at 19:05 on 21 January 2004
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Certainly, never read anything like it before! Certainly well written.
Liked the first verse where you double bluff and the punchline in the last.
As a matter of personal taste, however, just couldn't get images of American Pie type sex-starved/ infantile teenage boys out of my head re. the 2nd and just happen to have spent far too many hours around them teaching in a boys grammar school to want to revisit them for a moment...
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Marcus1 at 19:48 on 21 January 2004
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I'm realy glad you all enjoyed this.
Unfortunately this is realy what I am like, I suppose I haven't got past my teens yet, never mind!
Lisa, why don't you have a crack at large cocks and choccy fudge cake, I will look forward to reading it!
Cheers All
Marcus
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Bobo at 22:34 on 21 January 2004
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Marcus - 'have a crack', eh???!!! You really DO have a 1 track mind!
Maybe I'll give it a go - give me time to think - watch this space!
Lisa x
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dr_mandrill at 23:12 on 21 January 2004
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Possibly the best title I've ever seen. Reminded me of the Simpsons episode where Homer finds a shop selling 'Erotic Cakes'.
The poem's very funny too, well worthy of the great title.
dm.
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Plagious at 21:13 on 21 August 2005
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Just seen this on Random Read. Have to disagree profoundly from experience!
It should read, "the way to a woman’s mother's heart is to eat her mother's pies." They love cooking for potential suitors with healthy appetites when their daughters merely toy with a bit of salad!
Have rarely met a woman who can cook and has the other attributes (and I am not into their mothers), but, perhaps cooking should come first!
Wonderful read!
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