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Football Haiku

by Mickey 

Posted: 03 October 2016
Word Count: 90
Summary: This is new to me – do they qualify as Haiku?


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Some football Haiku
About the beautiful game
But do they succeed?
 
Transfer window closed
Millions of pounds are spent
Not much difference
 
A game of two halves
We didn’t deserve to lose
Sick as a parrot
 
Dominated first
Complacent during second
Ended up losing
 
Professional foul
Second yellow for dissent
Team down to ten men
 
Ball rebounds off post
A simple penalty missed
Three points thrown away
 
Game ended in draw
Extra time then penalties
A poor way to win
 
Two TV pundits
Completely differing views
But watching same game






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Comments by other Members



James Graham at 15:22 on 03 October 2016  Report this post
Before I could say ‘Bob’s your uncle’ your ‘Grass Roots’ poem was gone, and you had ‘knocked out’ 8 haiku! In ‘Grass Roots’ I thought your comment on the ticket prices charged by Premier clubs was very neat and clever. I liked (among other things) the (slight) exaggeration of
 
No need to raise a mortgage
 
plus ‘Premier-donnas’, a real put-down for the big teams, and your brilliant rhyme of boxes/paradox is. And in general I like the enthusiastic celebration of the underdog – which continues in the haiku.
 
You hardly need the first haiku, as the answer is obvious. Still, just leave it there so that readers can agree with it. Having said that, perhaps one or two of them could do with the third line being stronger, more of a punch line. The second and fourth especially, I think. Don’t know if these are any better, but maybe you’ll see what I mean.
 
Transfer window closed
Millions of pounds are spent
It’s same old same old
 
Dominated first
Complacent during second
Down and out again
 
The Japanese word for the essence of haiku is kiru, ‘cutting’. I.e. trimming an idea down to the essentials. You take various football scenarios – mainly different ways of losing games – and pack them into 17 syllables. Well, they succeed all right, even if there could be a little more ‘punch’ here and there. I like the last one – a broadside aimed at the pundits.
 
James.

FelixBenson at 20:14 on 03 October 2016  Report this post
Mickey - you can't deny that you're on a roll just now. I am impressed by how many haikus you can write in one go like this, and love the question posed in the first one. I have no idea how people write these - they are devilishly hard if you ask me. 

This is the one that made me laugh though!

A game of two halves
We didn’t deserve to lose
Sick as a parrot

That's a perfectly compressed football commentary writ large and small. Love it.

Mickey at 14:18 on 04 October 2016  Report this post
Thank  you James.  After I wrote these I reordered them into what I thought could be construed as the description of the events of one game.  Kirsty, I'm glad you liked that particular one as it reminds me of the Twitter comments you get from the players on 'Match Of The Day'  As for difficulty, the whole world of professional football seems to consist of banal 5- and 7-sylable cliches ('A game of two halves','Sick as a parrot','He'll be sorry he missed that','A goal on another day' etc)  Thank you foe reading and commenting
Mike 


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