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Too late!

by crowspark 

Posted: 13 May 2018
Word Count: 149


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the clattering train wound
on between iced hills
blue and green bottles
by the wall
down dark cuttings
across a white foamed river
 
just a hop skip and crawl
for shaky fingers
smooth as silk
neck slips and lips
part to catch
last drips
last gasp
 
Her drink like
pale blood
tears beaded
his cheek
 
a song for my lover
don't tell my mother
she couldn't stand
a drinker.

Original poems:

She dashed her drink in his face
the clattering train wound
on between iced hills
down dark cuttings
across a white foamed river

Her drink like
pale blood
tears beaded
his cheek

and:

blue and green bottles
by the wall
just a hop skip and crawl
for shaky fingers
smooth as silk
neck slips and lips
part to catch
last drips
last gasp
a song for my lover
don't tell my mother
she couldn't stand
a drinker.
 






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 17:10 on 13 May 2018  Report this post
 I am sorry I had to do an early adjudication today and this came in later crying Seems it my week to apologise to all and sundry for just about everything. I was supposed to be out all day and plans changed. Plans seem to change a lot these days.

Anyway you managed it! Well done.
It's an interesting form is it not, Bill? I keep thinking of those poems I have lying around that aren't doing anything because they don't quite work and how this might be a solution for some of them -- or not cheeky

crowspark at 18:12 on 13 May 2018  Report this post
Thanks, Oonah, no apology needed.

Yes, it is very interesting, not only for creating a poem out of 2 poems but also a way of re-seeding a completely new poem maybe.
 


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