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The Magicianís Assistant

by Mickey 

Posted: 12 August 2018
Word Count: 190

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The magician's assistant climbed into the case                                              
and we thrilled as he locked every clasp.                                                     
Our hearts all beat faster, we foresaw disaster                                                
when his murderous blade made us gasp.                                                      
With both horror and awe, we watched as the saw                                      
he brandished like someone possessed.                                                      
We all felt uneasy, our stomachs gone queasy,                                           
as he started to bisect the chest.                                                                  
With demonic intent he cut into two                                                              
the box and the lady inside.                                                                           
No mercy shown to her, the saw went right through her                                          
and gave us the fright of our lives.                                                                
Two plates he’s inserting to stop the blood spurting                                     
and he’s pulling the two halves asunder.                                                      
He’s just walked between where her hips should have been -                     
How on earth has he done it we wonder?                                                     
But the girl isn’t dead, her feet and her head                                                
are wriggling and smiling quite sweetly.
So to conclude the act, his routine he’s backtracked
and the lady’s recovered completely!
But now we all know it’s just part of the show
everyone feels disappointed.
To fool one and all, she curled into a ball
(it appears that his aide’s double jointed)

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Comments by other Members

V`yonne at 16:11 on 12 August 2018  Report this post
Aw thanks! I love this. It gave me a right good laugh today after all the war poems I've been reading over at The Linnet's Wings -- good poems but grim reading. A bit of levity was just what I needed. laugh Tell you what though, it might not appear for a while but I'd take it!

joanie at 21:20 on 12 August 2018  Report this post
Mike....  This so much more than a good read and a light-hearted romp!  The rhythm is just perfect, as are the rhymes overall and the brilliant internal rhymes in line 3.  However...  I feel a bit cheated because verse 1 doesn't have them!!  Excellent, all the same!


Mickey at 09:14 on 13 August 2018  Report this post
Thanks Oonah - you’re more than welcome. Joanie , I never even noticed the difference!  Glad you both liked it

Mickey at 10:41 on 13 August 2018  Report this post
Joanie, how about:

The magician’s assistant climbed into the case
and we thrilled as he locked every clasp.
Our hearts all beat faster, it promised disaster
as his murderous saw saw made us gasp.

poemsgalore at 15:11 on 13 August 2018  Report this post
I love the way each rhyme trips so easily off the tongue. Not to detract from your expertize Joan, but this sounds like one of those poems that just "wrote itself". laugh I particularly liked

'He’s just walked between where her hips should have been -                     
How on earth has he done it we wonder?'

Onne of my favourite trick, definitely a favourite poem.

poemsgalore at 15:13 on 13 August 2018  Report this post
Sorry Mickey, not Joan. blush

Mickey at 15:43 on 13 August 2018  Report this post
They DO write themselves, Kathleen. I just pin ‘em down on paper before they fly away again!

joanie at 18:53 on 13 August 2018  Report this post
Excellent re-write, Mike!!  Joan

Mickey at 14:34 on 14 August 2018  Report this post
Thanks for the advice Joanie.  I've just revised the first verse to achieve the internal rhyming of the third line.  Hope you all still like it?

V`yonne at 15:44 on 14 August 2018  Report this post
Yup laugh

James Graham at 21:30 on 14 August 2018  Report this post
This is a busy week, Mike, so I haven’t managed to comment till now. Anyway I agree with the praise you’ve had, and your revision of the first verse has improved it from being very good to very, very good! It's one of the best fun poems I've come across in a long time.
When it comes to conjurers I always want to know how it’s done. Just to be pleasantly mystified isn’t good enough. One conundrum about sawing the lady in half is how can her face smile at one end of the box and her feet wiggle at the other after he separates the two halves? I know! When he’s finished sawing she sticks her feet out for a moment so the audience can see, then curls up again for him to pull the two halves apart. I used to enjoy Paul Daniels stuff, but as I say I was never satisfied because he didn’t go on to explain how it was done!

LA at 22:05 on 14 August 2018  Report this post
Another gem, Mike. Love it!  laugh


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