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A Goodbye Valentine

by John G.Hall 

Posted: 15 February 2004
Word Count: 133
Summary: A Buddhist love poem..... (The Salutation is a pub in Manchester)


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A Goodbye Valentine

you were described
by your gifted smile
character leaned
open your northern
irish tongued mouth
grinned into pretty
laughter lines touch
on touch they curled
either side of speech
rambled from Down
along the sailing wind
under starry ploughs
unseen by english,

you were explained
by your royal name
autumn sea horses
curtsyed a crown of
hair softly furled on
bright looks shaded
by loves costed tears
each a sip poured on
the still hot tongue of
my waiting soul agape
communion was served
with guiness and crack
now empty glasses spill
and laughter is history
that still needs the tells
old friend always young
have a happy ever after
on me, & when our next
life doubles round we'll
drink dry our Salutation
once again, once again.


John G.Hall(C)2004






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Comments by other Members



roovacrag at 12:49 on 15 February 2004  Report this post
I enjoyed this John. The words flowed easily off the tongue.Salvation is a godsend,especially if the beer is cold.Well done.xxAlice

miffle at 11:11 on 16 February 2004  Report this post
Enjoyed this John. A dense, intimate, tumbling portrait of someone your soul was waiting for it seems...

Loved 'touch on 'touch' 'autumn sea horses' 'bright looks shaded/ by loves costed tears'. 'old friend always young' flattering, suggesting endearment, recognisable i.e. lovely the way old friends see you with different eyes and tend to see beyond the wrinkles. All in all a flattering, endearing portrait - 'pretty laughter lines' again flattering, endearing.

Three wonderings: 'agape' love's feast/ type of love linked to communion - how would you pronounce (i.e rather than 'wide open')? Line 'that still needs the tells' - bit sticky too me and unclear (?). Buddhism link - 'when our next /life doubles round' and elsewhere?

Write on, nikki ;-)

Tuppence at 16:09 on 28 October 2004  Report this post
love this 1 not had time 2 read rest yet but will
i new 2 this & got tons of stuff 2 send & mate keeps telling me 2 x


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