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Last Night In Nashville

by Zettel 

Posted: 17 June 2019
Word Count: 130
Summary: Another effort at a song. My son's sister-in-law, a singer/songwriter, fell in love with a another singer/songwriter from Nashville. They met and first kissed on her last night in Nashville before flying home next day. Getting married this August. Happy songs are hard and the risk of cliche, ever-present. This probably needs a 'bridge' to complete it. I test my 'songs' by trying to 'sing' them 'in my head'. The title just seemed to write itself.


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Last Night In Nashville

Chorus
We had our first kiss
last night in Nashville
Our love began on
My last night in Nashville

Music city made us one
Two roads together ran
Life as partners had begun
The night I met my music man

Each alone on lonely ways
Goin’ home to solitary rain
Back to uncertain days
Only music eased the pain 

One last drink one last song
Next day’s flight must be flown
Your eyes beyond right or wrong
Sparked a fire I’d never known

Had to go, had to leave
But knowing then that I’d return
No Nashville loss to grieve
Just a lifetime’s love to burn

No last night in Nashville
No last loving kiss
We are there, lovin’ still
Nothing lost. No one to miss
 






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Comments by other Members



Jellybean at 12:02 on 18 June 2019  Report this post
I think this is beautiful and can imagine it played with an old guitar.

I have little knowledge of song writing apart from the one module I did in a Creative Writing degree at Winchester a while back.

How often is the chorus repeated? Just so I can get a better sense of the song's structure.

As I said it is a beautiful piece. Well done!
 

James Graham at 20:50 on 20 June 2019  Report this post
Hello Zettel - Reading your introduction my first thought was that the story is a little too complicated – or perhaps I should say too particular, a particular circumstance, something that doesn’t happen all the time. Would the song make the story clear? Might a listener think, ‘What’s the story? I don’t get it’? Well, only one who wasn’t really paying attention. These lines do the job quite neatly: ‘One last drink one last song/ Next day’s flight must be flown’ followed by ‘Had to go, had to leave’. Obviously a song, even more than a poem, mustn’t spell out the details of a story too much; but these  verses do just enough. If the chorus were placed between these two verses even a listener who was half asleep would get it.
 
As you would expect, I was also looking for good lines of poetry in the song. These stand out:
 
Each alone on lonely ways
Goin’ home to solitary rain
 
Your eyes beyond right or wrong
Sparked a fire I’d never known
 
‘Solitary rain’ and ‘Your eyes beyond right or wrong’ are words that a listener might remember, words that would keep recurring. But I do understand that the language of a song like this must be simple, not full of dense poetic lines. And be assured you do avoid cliché.
 
You would have to find someone who could advise you on the musical aspects, how well  these words would fit a tune; maybe even write a tune. It would be great news to hear that you had found someone who would perform either this song or ‘Universal Trader’.
 
James.
 
P.S. Re ‘Universal Trader’ you’ll have noted that the Court of Appeal has ruled that UK arms sales to Saudi Arabia are unlawful, and that the Government has temporarily suspended sales. One small step towards humane values and a respect for human rights…

Zettel at 22:35 on 22 June 2019  Report this post
Thanks you guys.  Jellybean I think James's suggestion for the chorus sounds right.

James: glad I've avoided cliche: and the songs I admore most have individual lines that have some 'poetic' resonance so pleased about that also.  Still very interested in the difference between song and poetry: my hope is that this can be a two-way beneficial process.

I may try to tap out some kind of melody or tune which might provide the basis for a proper arrangement, I'll let you know if I have any luck.

Thanks agains for the comments

Z

May still need a bridge

James Graham at 21:28 on 27 June 2019  Report this post
I’m no expert, but one difference between poetry and song may be that song lines can be plainer, simpler – still avoiding cliché – because the music supplies the added dimension which a poem must supply on its own, through its ‘musical’ or otherwise heightened language.

It's been a pleasure reading and thinking about this song. Maybe one day I'll hear it..on YouTube?

James.

tyronjames000 at 01:19 on 23 July 2019  Report this post

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