Login   Sign Up 



 
Archive » crowspark » Work
Archive »  Poetry » General » Work

Between the stars

by crowspark 

Posted: 10 May 2020
Word Count: 91
Summary: For our "moment" challenge
Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


Homework done
I'd don hat, coat and scarf
and slip from the buzzing house
to climb the gravel path
to the silent peace of trees.

The moon sailed low
above the South Downs
chalk and cheese, after tea
blotched and freckled
like me.

Jupiter, Saturn, Mizar and Alcor
Orion's belt and sword
ancient hercules cluster
swam glorius over
roads and houses, acres of concrete.

And for a brief moment
in the cold darkness of my youth
I could stand unseen
to scan the darkling vastness
and slip away between the stars.






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 14:17 on 10 May 2020  Report this post
You do a walk so beautifully, Bill and this is no exception. I love the contrasts between work and leisure, chalk and cheese and

in the cold darkness of my youth

but most of all the wonder of

Jupiter, Saturn, Mizar and Alcor
Orion's belt and sword
ancient hercules cluster
swam glorius over
roads and houses, acres of concrete.

It's a well studied poem and just beautiful language.
Read the WriteWords interview with Oonah Joslin (V`yonne)
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Jojovits1 at 17:04 on 10 May 2020  Report this post
Awww Bill.  I recognise this so much as I used to walk for hours when I was back home (not at night though, my mum would have had an apoplexy!).

Beautifully written, I particularly love
blotched and freckled
like me.

 

ancient hercules cluster
swam glorius over
roads and houses

A beautiful way to escape and disolve, if only for a little while.

Gorgeous.
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

michwo at 19:15 on 10 May 2020  Report this post
So you haven't always lived in Shrewsbury, Bill.
I don't know the South Downs at all but it sounds to me like you were more intent on watching the sky as a boy rather than the world around you. Is that still the case?
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

crowspark at 10:33 on 11 May 2020  Report this post
Hi Oonah. Thanks for the kind comments and I'm pleased that you like it.
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

crowspark at 10:34 on 11 May 2020  Report this post
Hi Oonah, many thanks for the kind comments :)
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

crowspark at 10:36 on 11 May 2020  Report this post
Thanks Jo-Ann. I was in our back garden (not a very big one) and there were 3 birch trees in the corner. We lived on a hill so I didn't have to go far to see a lot of sky.
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

crowspark at 10:40 on 11 May 2020  Report this post
Hi Michael, I didn't like the world around me much at that time - miles and miles of housing all around - (Although there was some wonderful woodland not too far away). We lived on a hill so there were some distant views.

I moved to Manchester (just down the road from you - Chorlton-Cum-Hardy) for a while before I set off on my travels again.
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

 






Other work by crowspark:      ...view all work by crowspark