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by Novy123 

Posted: 01 July 2020
Word Count: 93
Summary: Orchids

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The grandeur of her days were different now
Crushed Orchid plant white and magnificent
Peering outside window frame dusty from London passing cars
Red bricked frame of house leaning brightly into its colours
First brought the tears of loss
Of the mother no longer there
White engrossed with themselves petals keeping secrets
Thick and complimentary stems
Leaves curling furlonged away from the originating garden
When first arrived as a gift cut and trimmed by stem 
Envoking without need for promotion
A time to cry
Yellow pollenation buds budding for sunshine and Bees. 

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Comments by other Members

Jojovits1 at 22:51 on 01 July 2020  Report this post
Hi Aisha!

Please put this up in the Flash Poetry Group...it's just absolutely what this week's challenge is crying out for.

I also worry whey you post to a general site, it's not being seen at the moment as it's quiet.  And man, this needs to bs seen! :-)

I absolutely love this.

Jo xx

michwo at 00:31 on 02 July 2020  Report this post
I've been prompted by Jojovits1 a.k.a. Jo-Ann Newton to look at this poem of yours, Aisha, and I note that she's encouraged you to post it to the Flash Poetry Group as it definitely meets the criteria for Oonah's floral challenge with the deadline for entries this coming Sunday, July 5th.
The very name 'Orchids' is suggestive to me of something tropical and exotic. Am I right in thinking that the lady in this poem is Barbadian possibly and has been transplanted into grimy red-brick London? Has her mother died or has she left her behind in Barbados? Are the tears of loss for rather than of the mother no longer there tears for being geographically separated from her or because she has in fact died? The orchids have come to London from somewhere else, right? The lady's been given them - they're complimentary stems/ Leaves curling furlonged away from the originating garden...
I'm puzzled by the word 'furlonged' which suggests 'furlongs' which suggests horse racing. Do you mean 'furloughed' which is 'given leave of absence', i.e. allowed to grow elsewhere in this case? By the same token Envoking must be Evoking and pollenation in the last line must be pollination.
This poem is shorter than other poems of yours I've looked at and I like it more for that. Like the orchids themselves it makes sense without need for promotion or extra words that would only be superfluous in this case. You've said what you wanted to say without adding to it as I feel you've been tempted to do in your other poems unnecessarily. This is fine as it is. Don't worry. P.S. First line: The grandeur of her days was different now.

V`yonne at 13:04 on 03 July 2020  Report this post
I agree with Michael. This says just enough and leaves a few questions which in any poem do not need answers. There's a sense of life and death here and ultimately a sense of moving on -- the flowers not native to their surroundings bring thoughts of separation and loss yet nonetheless adapt and grow there and life goes on.
This poignant line:

Evoking without need for promotion
A time to cry

Crying -- like the flowers come naturally.
I love the yellow of pollination againt the white of death too. And orchids -- we all have orchid in our DNA apparently. It's some of the oldest DNA on Earth. Did you do that deliberately? heart
I love this poem. It's beautiful.

V`yonne at 13:08 on 03 July 2020  Report this post
Do you want this to be part of the Fash Poetry challenge this week, Aisha?

V`yonne at 13:34 on 06 July 2020  Report this post
I would have chosen this as the winner this week, Aisha but you didn't reply so of course I couldn't crying

crowspark at 19:20 on 06 July 2020  Report this post
A beautiful poem, Aisha. Thanks for sharing.

Jojovits1 at 20:48 on 06 July 2020  Report this post
This would have been the stand out winner this week.  Would love to see you back in the group, Aisha.  Please join in any time. smiley

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