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Longing

by Ellenna 

Posted: 16 March 2004
Word Count: 93


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Silver grey sky reminds me of your hair
as I stare into eternal space
impenetrable inscrutable
and no trace of fire
Steel stab pins rain harsh on my skin
I yearn for the smell of apple tree wood
and the hiss and spit of warmth within
instead the ice cold touches
that pierce to my core
A mantle of snow keeps the crocus
from death but the warmth of Spring
is the bringer of colour
Night settles its swathe
in pale mirrors
as I reach for the Moon
in search of the Sun







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Comments by other Members



Fearless at 13:50 on 16 March 2004  Report this post
Long time no see Ellie. Beautiful, mournful. What resonated most? Well:

'steel stab pins rain harsh on my skin
I yearn for the smell of apple tree wood
and the hiss and spit of warmth within
instead the ice cold touches
that pierce to my core'


A moving lyric.

Fearless

roovacrag at 15:38 on 16 March 2004  Report this post
Beautiful.
The last line did it for me.
as i reach for the moon
in search of the sun.
great one.
xxAlice

Ellenna at 16:28 on 16 March 2004  Report this post
Fearless thank you! And Alice I changed the last line umpteen times...glad this resonates with you and thanks for your thoughts:)

Ellie

olebut at 17:58 on 16 March 2004  Report this post
ellie hi and welccome back

as always emotive words and strong images

take care

david

miffle at 11:31 on 17 March 2004  Report this post
Ellie, loved the poem. Endearing.

'silvery grey sky' wizardy, ancient feel.

'stare into eternal space' 'inpenetrable, inscrutable' - reminds me of the line 'we see but throught a glass darkly' from the book by Jostein Gaarder (surname?) called 'Through a Glass Darkly' about an angel's conversations with a dying girl. i.e. in the grand scheme of things our human vision is so limited... (mostly)

Loved the reference to the 'apple tree wood' - the 'smell' the 'hiss' and the 'spit' - but then I am a sucker for fires!

'Night settles its swathe/ in pale mirrors' - beautiful! 'settles its swathe' sounds so restful and gentle. 'pale mirrors' sounds sad, mournful, makes me think of the moon.

'..as I reach for the Moon/ in search of the Sun' - beautiful in sentiment, sound, image. Yes, loved the closing 4 lines.

Write on, Miffle ;-)



<Added>

meant ' we see but through a glass darkly'

Ellenna at 17:23 on 17 March 2004  Report this post
David thanks .. and I am trying to catch up with all the uploaded poems.. Miffle many thanks too for your comments I am just happy it resonated ..:)

Ellie ..

igbit33 at 12:35 on 18 March 2004  Report this post
Ellie,

A sad piece, but beautiful - the fifth and sixth lines especially.

Iggy. xx

Ellenna at 13:31 on 18 March 2004  Report this post
Iggy thanks very much...glad you liked it.

Ellie:)

engldolph at 14:42 on 29 March 2004  Report this post
HI Ellie

I liked the winter feel of this...hopefully all behind us now spring is here ...
Had a haunting tone..in the remembrance of the grey hair and times by he fire (but somehow told of lost love to me, rather than someone waiting)...
Really liked the way you linked ..no traces of fire (in the sky) ..to the follow lines about fire at home..

and loved the last lines..
best wishes
Mike


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