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Guilt

by The Walrus 

Posted: 16 April 2004
Word Count: 135
Summary: Rhythm needs looking at.


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Never advertising his tainted wares
or dirty currency in which he deals,
still mastered well the sinister art
of leeching colour from human auras.

Rarely seen in daylight hours
preferring instead to stalk,
in shadowed corners of mortal uncertainty,
inhabiting dens of hominal dubiety.

Susceptible prey, never far away,
crooked nose adeptly sniffs out -
unmistakable… the scent of self-doubt.

Stealth of hoof at midnight hush,
odorous breath and boney hand,
icicled claws that puncture
soft the flesh succumbs.

From serum imparted
victims rarely break free,
addicted as they become
to the black vortex of insanity.

And from humid alley, his putrid habitat,
were spawned the lethal offspring,
an infamous pair of tyrannical twins,
christened Fear and Regret,
well fed and growing fat
unfolding their deadly wings
poised proudly to follow
in their father’s footsteps.







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Comments by other Members



Fearless at 15:21 on 16 April 2004  Report this post
Red

I liked this cinematic, frame-by-frame examination of guilt. Had a slightly Goth/Victorian feel to it. I read this out aloud as a bloodthirsty Fagin, and the penultimate stanza came out as an aside to a hushed audience.

Hyphen and string of periods in 3rd stanza helped timing for me and intensified the effect.

I liked the linkage of fear and regret to guilt as offspring, and expressions of 'tyranny' 'proudly', etc build the house of darkness and shame well.

A very good effort, I am proud of you. Write on,

Fearless
x


roovacrag at 17:09 on 16 April 2004  Report this post
gREAT ONE.

I can only enhance what woz said.
Reminded me of fagan going through the streets.

Fear and regret,pickpocketing through life.

Not your usual work but i think its great and a change for better work to come.

Well done Red daughter.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Alice

The Walrus at 09:37 on 17 April 2004  Report this post
Fearless, Stan, yes, something a bit different. Glad it worked for you.

The Walrus
x

Royals at 17:50 on 17 April 2004  Report this post
A spooky story, as Wozzy boy says, a bit like a macabre film. Liked it.

Cheers, Royals

Lawrenco at 18:41 on 17 April 2004  Report this post
Sounds delightful! A real Hoot when they get together with fear and regret .Not a bank holiday to remember!
Guilt is awful ,and i`m glad you have exposed him or her? As a shameless devil like creature,bout time he got his /her comuppence!

just one typo(rumb comming from me!)hominoid not hominal.

Nell at 08:45 on 18 April 2004  Report this post
Hi Walrus, I agree with Woz about the Victorian/Goth feel, but when I got to: ...an infamous pair of tyrannical twins... an instant picure of the Krays popped into my mind. A wonderful idea to make flesh of guilt - it works beautifully.

Nell.




The Walrus at 09:31 on 18 April 2004  Report this post
Royals, yes, very macabre indeed! Scared the hell out of me writing it.

Patrick, yes a real bundle of laughs this trio. In this case Guilt is definitely a 'he'. But you've set me thinking now, might 'bring to life' Jealousy in female form sometime. You sure about hominoid? Thought my hominal was OK, but will check. Thanks.

Nell, yes! The Krays - see what you mean! Glad you think it worked.

Thanks for commenting guys.

The Walrus





Account Closed at 13:34 on 18 April 2004  Report this post
Oh I like this very much. It made me think of me, if you can believe it, so what the hell this says about me, only the devil knows. Refreshingly dark. I like this one. Excellent!

Steven

The Walrus at 14:21 on 18 April 2004  Report this post
...worrying... seek help.

The Walrus
btw, thanks for commenting.

Account Closed at 11:21 on 19 April 2004  Report this post
Walrus,

think of it from my point of view. This poem is the perfect description of all horror writers. I think its a great piece, a poem that you can take with you long after you've finished reading it.

Steven

The Walrus at 09:32 on 20 April 2004  Report this post
Steven, I was intrigued by your comment... are you saying that horror writers are the personification of guilt?

Thanks for your comments, glad you like it.

The Walrus

Account Closed at 23:43 on 22 April 2004  Report this post
Walrus,

horror writers are the personification of fear, and most fear stems from the guilt of life, and the futility of it I suspose.
Here's how the poem came across to me, as a horror writer:

Stanza 1: "Never advertising his tainted wares", writing and very rarely showing people your work.
The "dirty currency" being fear and horror along with "the sinister art".
"Leaching colour from human auras" us a perfect description of what is known as "cosmic horror" in the genre [H.P. Lovecraft, Algernon Blackwood, Clark Ashton Smith].

Stanza 2: "Rarely seen in daylight hours", the darkness being the staple of all horror and I am rarely seen in daylight hours :).
"in shadowed corners of mortal uncertainty", one of many fears that generates horror. Flesh and blood, we're only human.

Stanza 3: "Susceptible prey, never far away", ideas and readers are never far away.
"unmistakable… the scent of self-doubt", I'm always doubting my writing as I never think its scary enough.

Stanza 4: "Stealth of hoof at midnight hush", the devil and its element of fear and influience in horror literature.

Stanza 5: "victims rarely break free", in my stories the victims never break free.
"the black vortex of insanity", darkness which features heavilly in my writing and always ways heavy on the characters mind as they are surrounded by a dark
environment.

Stanza 6: "And from humid alley, his putrid habitat", I write a lot about dark alleys and what they hold.
"Fear and Regret", the fear is what I fear as it's what I write, the regret is life in general really.
"their father’s footsteps", the author, which is me and as I write the stories the characters are reflections of fear and regret.

See, I should never read dark poetry, this is always the mad result lol :)

The Walrus at 14:49 on 25 April 2004  Report this post
Steven

Thank you for your in-depth explanation. I am absolutely flabbergasted at your interpretation. I see your point entirely. Sounds like a very dark place to be as a horror writer. Stock up on garlic, stakes and crucifixes lol:)

Thanks again.

The Walrus


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