Where He Fell
Posted: 27 April 2004
Word Count: 61
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Where He Fell
This is where he fell,
his soft flesh torn by bullets.
The soldiers didn't know his name,
or where he came from.
Now he is no longer
Christian, Muslim, Jew.
His spirit soars above the world,
his tears fall on burning desert,
frozen wastes, urban jungles.
Their saltiness brings no relief,
as futile as the war that killed him.
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Comments by other Members
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 Fearless at 18:21 on 27 April 2004
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Kathleen
As someone who has lost relatives through pointless wars, I must say that this resonated strongly with me. The first two lines virtually capture the slow-motion vision of one's own death through warfare, as bullets pierce skin.
The following lines created a moving image in my mind's eye:
His spirit soars above the world,
his tears fall on burning desert,
frozen wastes, urban jungles. |
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Capturing the isolation of war dead, wherever they lay.
Write on,
Fearless
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 joanie at 19:02 on 27 April 2004
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poemsgalore, this took me straight back to the 60's - Donovan's 'Universal Soldier'... "He's a Catholic, a Hindu, an Atheist, A Jane; a Buddhist and a Baptist and a Jew, and he knows he shouldn't kill and he knows he always will - killing for me, my friend, and me for you.........." I could go on but I better hadn't. Yes, I like this.
joanie
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roovacrag at 19:40 on 27 April 2004
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Kathleen,
This is a good tribute to all who have been killed in pointless wars.
Unknown soldier.
So many,now in the hands of God.
Well done.
xx Alice
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poemsgalore at 18:21 on 28 April 2004
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Many thanks for your comments, I'm glad my work is sometimes appreciated, it makes it all worth while - especially by other writers and poets.
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tinyclanger at 11:21 on 21 May 2004
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Hi pg,
I enjoyed the 'everyman' nature of this, that this man is a symbol for all conflicts and all fallen, you don't tie him down to any particular cause/place - though, of course, one can guess at what inspired it.
"His spirit soars above the world,
his tears fall on burning desert,
frozen wastes, urban jungles."
lovely idea of the connectedness of everything, that his spirit sees all, overcomes the barriers that divided and kiled him.
The only small question I have is with "whatever". I know completey what you mean, but it seems a bit out of place...I lose the impact of the previous lines because it feels a bit lazy...throw-away..vague..
Oh, I'm not explaining it very well! I think what I mean is the idea that the divides of religion don't matter any more is a very powerful one, but then the 'whatever' dissolves the impact of that somewhat, for me, anyway ?
But, that aside, I enjoyed the piece very much.
x
tc
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