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R.I.P

by roovacrag 

Posted: 30 April 2004
Word Count: 122
Summary: Fevvers exercise. Think i got it wrong


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Floating through the house
quiet as a mouse,
he knew where mum would be
in the kitchen, just had to see.

Hands all in flour,
he didn't have the power
to kiss her as he wanted.
Just watched, daunted.

Dad came in, mail in hand
not waving it about,
as he stood
alone.

Looked at his wife,
pain no passion -
she knew then,
face was ashen.

Mail was not what she wanted to see,
it fell to the ground,nothing said,
message was,
'Your son is dead -
killed in action.'

He wanted to scream,
wanted to shout
"I am here,
turn about"

Kissed them both,
each touched their cheek.
They knew and smiled;
their son had been.

He said goodbye.
R.I.P.








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Comments by other Members



Fearless at 18:04 on 30 April 2004  Report this post
Very moving. Sounds like something from WWII, but sadly, is also very contemporary. A fine poem Alice Joy.

Fearless
x

gard at 03:45 on 01 May 2004  Report this post
How sad! Yes the sad and broken reality of War. Makes it doubly thousandth time worse when there reallly is no point to it either .......all those lives and all that potential lost.

G

Skeetr at 09:36 on 01 May 2004  Report this post
Truly touching poem, Alice. Yes, the vision and the emotions surrounding hearing the the news you always knew could come, are as contemporary as they are timeless.

Smith

roovacrag at 14:05 on 01 May 2004  Report this post
Thank you all for your comments.
Always someones son that gets killed. One loss is too much.
xx Alice

dr_mandrill at 14:11 on 01 May 2004  Report this post
How sad- Woz is right: I pictured a forties mid-western housewife; but it could just as easily be a mother in Surrey, Sidney, Londonderry, Najaf.

Well done. A fine and moving piece.




dm

The Walrus at 07:51 on 02 May 2004  Report this post
Don't know what the exercise was about, but as people have said, a moving piece. Love the way you set the scene.

The Walrus
x


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