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Our Song

by Rosalind 

Posted: 14 May 2003
Word Count: 39
Summary: This is a slightly new direction for me. I'm unsure of the results. I'm grateful for any comment. Thanks

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They are playing our song
The reasons lost in memory
Anthem of lost youth
Haunting, graceful melody

I feel you standing near, as then
Your face, in mind ,unaged.
your breath lightly caressing me
Open eyes now, truth ablaze.

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Comments by other Members

llydstp at 14:55 on 14 May 2003  Report this post
I love this, mainly because I can resonate with it due to my age.

I like this kind of poetry which is not obscure in its meaning.

One small point: I would prefer eyes open to "open eyes," I think the words flow better that way (but that's just the Welsh in me). Tell me to get lost if you like, because after all, they are your words from your head, and you can do what you like with them.

Best wishes


olebut at 16:41 on 14 May 2003  Report this post
I love the simplicity of this and yet it loses nothing of the emotion of the memory.

I have have written a piece on a similar subject sadly not as succinctly or so cleverly

thank you for sharing your poem with us

take care

Hilary Custance at 18:32 on 15 May 2003  Report this post
Rosalind, this is very immediate, and, as it did with Steve, it resonates quickly with me. I love the way you have picked on something that seems to accumulate over the years, the summary moments, the ones that include 'now' and some special and specific 'then'; a moment that might at the time have been a passing one but has somehow aquired strength over the years. Sorry this is not at all clear. Your poetry says it a whole lot better. Cheers, Hilary

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