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Stripped

by Bee 

Posted: 11 June 2004
Word Count: 59


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I feel -
like a blister, torn
the sheets tangled
around - me.

I feel the pull -
the cord, inside
screaming with the bells,
where loneliness stands

I feel suffocated by -
those around me, pointing
and laughing and having -
their own feast.

I feel silence that sings -
a threat, of a thousand
lives, of loneliness.






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Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 12:51 on 11 June 2004  Report this post
Hi Bee,

very powerful poem. Word perfect, not a wasted word, a precision poem. Less is always more.

Was quite moved when I read it. Everyone has felt like that sometimes in their life. Well done,

Ste
x

The Walrus at 13:55 on 11 June 2004  Report this post
Once again Ste has summed it up - powerful - consise and no doubt resonating with the vast majority.

Good stuff.

The Walrus

Bee at 16:26 on 11 June 2004  Report this post
Ste/Walrus thank you both. Poetry is COMPLETELY new to me, so I am just playing around.

Glad u enjoyed.

Ciao
Bee


deblet at 22:03 on 11 June 2004  Report this post
Wow Bee

Your words located a very hollow place within me with an arctic chill running through. Really felt it. Or a hollow room inside where very sad things have happened. Very powerful, very evocative. My kind of poetry. Thanks

deblet x

Nell at 08:44 on 12 June 2004  Report this post
Bee, wonderful images here - ...like a blister, torn... made me shudder, and each subsequent stanza is intense with exact feeling. I can't believe you're new to poetry, this is excellent.

Nell.


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