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Summer evening - a little Haiku

by joanie 

Posted: 25 June 2004
Word Count: 6
Summary: I just stood awhile in the garden, watching them!

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bedtime -
darting swifts
play tag

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Comments by other Members

Al T at 22:52 on 25 June 2004  Report this post
Hi Joanie, I really like this. Earlier in the week, when it was really stormy, I walked around the Serpentine and saw swifts doing exactly this. There were loads of them, and, thinking of Hitchcock's The Birds, I was worried that they would attack me. But they just darted around me instead.


gard at 23:28 on 25 June 2004  Report this post
Hi Joanie

lovely little haiku, I love swifts. Is wonderful to watch them and house martins. I used to walk my old dog over a huge marram grassland close to the sea. There was often swifts or house martins flying especially before a strom catching insects on the wing. Amazing to watch, nature at one of its best.


joanie at 23:32 on 25 June 2004  Report this post
Thanks, Adele.
Whenever I hear reference to 'The Birds', I remember Menabilly - a wonderful part of Cornwall where Daphne du Maurier lived and wrote. I hadn't realised that it was her short story which formed the basis of the Hitchcock film. She saw the seagulls swooping after the tractor in the fields as it was ploughing, which gave her the inspiration. We visited the area and bought our beloved collie dog from that very farm whilst on holiday! Memories!

joanie at 23:34 on 25 June 2004  Report this post
Thanks G! We were writing and posting at the same time. Amazing how 6 words have already provoked so many memories!!

gard at 01:28 on 26 June 2004  Report this post
Hi Joanie

I see I typed strom instead of storm (apologies). Oh yes lovely memories..feel sad now..miss the UK..


peterxbrown at 00:16 on 03 July 2004  Report this post
Really beautiful image. Love it!

joanie at 18:24 on 05 July 2004  Report this post
Thanks, Peter! Sorry for the delay; I only just saw your reply. Glad you liked it.

Account Closed at 20:03 on 09 July 2004  Report this post
I thought this was lovely - the movement in the haiku somehow echoes the birds' movement too. Great!

Anne B

joanie at 20:19 on 09 July 2004  Report this post
HollyB - thank you! Glad you liked it.

Seahorse at 23:31 on 06 September 2004  Report this post
Yes, I know exactly what you mean but would never have thought to describe it as "playing tag". Yet it fits so vividly. Which in my book makes a near-perfect haiku. One of my favourites on this board!

joanie at 22:49 on 10 September 2004  Report this post
Seahorse! I only just saw your response; how could I have missed it?! A lovely comment - thank you!!

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