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It`s All Over

by Barcla 

Posted: 01 July 2004
Word Count: 774
Summary: I wrote this last year for my drama school.


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Itís All Over


Scene 1.

Lights go up dimly and Tim walks across stage, he is wearing a thick coat and a hat and rubbing his hands together. Ben is lying on a coat on the floor; Tim walks by and puts 2p on Benís coat then walks off stage.

Stallholder

Get your potatoes, a pound a pound, lovely jubbly king Edward spuds fresh from all the way over Asia, imported especially for you. Get your potatoesÖ. Lights Fade.


Scene 2

Lights go up brightly and Tim walks across stage, he is wearing a T-shirt, he puts 2p on Benís coat and walks off stage.

Stallholder

Get your lovely jubblyl strawberries a pound a pound, imported all the way over here from exotic Japan especially for you.

Ben
Hi Tim, how was school?

Tim
Ok, I was just thinking how long Iíve known you. I meanÖcold days, hot days, school days, pretty much everyday I walk past you, and it must be years now. Wicked.

Ben
Whatís so wicked?

Tim
Well you know? You havenít got any parents bossing you about. It must be great. Hey, Iíve had a great idea, Iíll pack my stuff and live with you.

Ben
What! No, you canít, you donít know what youíd be throwing away, youíve got a family. Itís horrible out here, especially on cold nights.

Tim
Yeah but that doesnít matter. Just getting a bit of a chill. The point that you seem to be forgetting is no parents telling you what to do.
(Tim runs off)

Iím going to get my stuff.

Ben
You canít come and stay wit me, you donít know what youíll be losing. I had a family once.

(Lights Fade)


Scene 3

Tim walks in the door, his mum is cooking dinner his dad is reading the paper.

Mum
How was school?

Tim
Ok

Mum
Go upstairs, unpack your school stuff, wash your hand s and get ready for dinner, Iíll be calling you in a few minutes.


(Tim exits stage)

Mum
I donít understand that boy sometimes, heís just not as lively as he normally is.

Dad
Just a stage where you turn from a boy into a young man.

Mum
(Frustrated) Heís nine years old! (She sighs and finishes making dinner)

Mum
Tim! Dinnerís ready! And I hope youíve changed your school shirt, I donít want you getting tomato sauce all over your clean white shirt.

(Timís footsteps running downstairs)

(Tim enters with a suitcase)

Mum
Tim youíve still got your shirt on and look at the state of those hands. What on earth is in that suitcase and why are you holding it?

Dad
Are you going on holiday lad? (Laughs)

Tim
As a matter of facet I am going away. But I can tell you right now, Iím not coming back.

Mum
What on earth are you talking about? Youíre not going anywhere.

Tim
Yes I am and shall I tell you why? Because of you, always telling me what to do and dad you donít take me seriously Iím just a big joke to you.

(Tim starts walking off)

Mum
Come back her young man! (Shouts)

Tim
No, Iím leaving and Iím not coming back,

(Tim walks off stage)

Mum
Well come on, arenít you going to go after him, do all the stuff that dads are supposed to do.

Dad
Like I said, itís just a stage, heíll be back in time for pudding.

Mum
I donít believe you, heís right, you donít take anything seriously.

Dad
Calm down, (He puts his arm on her shoulder)

Mum
Yeah youíre right, heíll be back.

(Lights Fade)

Scene 4

Tim walks back to the spot where Ben, lived. Ben isnít there but his blanket and pillow are, the stall holder is placing a flower on top of the blanket, he is crying, Tim can feel something is wrong.

Tim
What happened to Ben?
Stallholder
Um..well I donít know how to tell you, he was chasing someone who jacked his money and he ran out in front of a car and well..heís dead.

Tim bursts into tears, he stops and says to himself

Tim
I canít believe what Iíve lost, the only good friend I had in my life and my family Iíve bens so stupid. Kids donít just run away for stupid reasons like heir parents telling them what to do. Iíve been an idiot.

Stallholder

Weíre going to miss him, he was a nice lad.

Tim
#When, when did this happen?

Stall h older
Yesterday mate.

Tim
What, but Saw him this morning.

Stallholder
You couldnít of mate.

Stall holder walks off stage.

The End






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Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 21:36 on 01 July 2004  Report this post
Hello Barney,
This is great - did you act it out at your drama school? There are a few typos but if you look through it properly, you'll find them. I'd also change this line "Iíll be calling you in a few minutes." to "I'll call you" - it sounds more natural.

I see from your profile that you're only 11, so this is very impressive. Keep writing and learn from others around you. I'm sure there are drama competitions that you could try for.

Good luck
Elspeth


Barcla at 07:38 on 02 July 2004  Report this post
Thankyou Elspeth i dictated it to my mum last night so thats why there were typos and yes i did act it out for my drama school.
And i will change that little bit.

Nell at 09:04 on 02 July 2004  Report this post
Hi Barcla,

This is a touching little play - I could see it acted out in my imagination. As Elspeth says, there are a few typos, but you've achieved a good balance when this could so easily have tipped over into pure sentimentality. Well done, and write on!

Best, Nell.

MarkY at 12:17 on 02 July 2004  Report this post
I like this, very promising. Hope your drama school gets you doing some other stuff.

Jumbo at 23:58 on 02 July 2004  Report this post
Hi Barcla

Welcome to WriteWords.

I know very little about writing plays but these reads like a nice piece of work. Have you written anything else?

Good luck with your writing

John



Dee at 15:21 on 03 July 2004  Report this post
Hey Barney, this is good. You should be proud of yourself... and so should your Mum... but her typing needs improving ;)

Like Jumbo, I'm no expert on plays. Have you written any short stories?

You have a talent, Barney. If you work on it you could turn it into a career.

Well done and welcome to WW.

Dee.

Colin-M at 09:14 on 05 July 2004  Report this post
Hi Barney, Welcome aboard. I read this with interest. What sticks out to me is that this play is almost skeletal in its content: everything is essential to the play, something that older writers forget as they get more interested in waffle and tangents. It's a good kick up the arse for the rest of us to be reminded of how real youn'uns write: the black and white justice etc.

You have the bones of a damn good little ghost story here. Try expanding on it. The scene where the boy tries to leave home could do with a bit of work; a lot more confrontation. If the boy leaves after a massive row, ie he really believes he's burned his bridges and can never return, that will have impact on his sense of loss, making that final scene all the stronger. It might be worth trying to ad lib this scene with a friend - really go at it! Shout and scream!

Keep at it mate. Buy a box file, keep all of this early work, and never, ever throw it away. It will be gold dust when you reach our age.

Good luck - and keep posting.

Colin M

Barcla at 17:33 on 05 July 2004  Report this post
hi thanks for all your comments but i can't upload any more work because i am only on trial for a month.
P.S. My mum is jubbly.

Jubbly at 19:11 on 15 February 2006  Report this post
/;.'l,;

Steerpike`s sister at 19:10 on 20 September 2009  Report this post
LOL!


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