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One

by joanie 

Posted: 12 July 2004
Word Count: 53
Summary: I wanted to try the repetition which Ticonderoga (Mike) used in 'calling the toad'


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I lay beside you
with the river flowing
beneath our window.

Beneath our window
the city jubilated
while we wallowed.

While we wallowed,
rejoicing in each other's body,
the world flew far away.

The world flew far away
and we were left.
I lay beside you.

I lie beside you.
We are one.








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Comments by other Members



roovacrag at 13:23 on 13 July 2004  Report this post
Joan, I liked the way you presented this. Did one similar a few months ago and never posted.
Well done.
xx Alice

olebut at 16:27 on 13 July 2004  Report this post
Joanie

very poetic and gentle

david

Rai15 at 17:34 on 13 July 2004  Report this post
I really like the way this flowed so easily. Well done,

-Rai-

joanie at 18:02 on 13 July 2004  Report this post
Alice, David, Rai. Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate it.

joanie

Mooncat at 17:02 on 14 July 2004  Report this post
Joanie,

A nice, well-presented piece.

Marie

joanie at 19:06 on 14 July 2004  Report this post
Thank you, Marie.

joanie


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