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Separation

by Bobo 

Posted: 20 July 2004
Word Count: 32
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Pity hammers against my skull
as I look at your pathetic form.
Sorry, you say,
over and over,
lamenting the shards of a broken future.

Picture perfect lies
cast the ugliest shadows.












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Comments by other Members



roovacrag at 22:21 on 20 July 2004  Report this post
Bobo, such a sad poem here.
Hope its not a true seperation.
Second line said a lot , but not enough.

xx Alicex
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Fearless at 23:53 on 20 July 2004  Report this post
Very sad. Wipe away the shards and start over. Pity does not a life make.

Fearless
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Bobo at 07:25 on 21 July 2004  Report this post
Al / Woz - thanks for commenting. Yes, sad, but also quite cathartic I guess.

BoBo x
:(
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Mooncat at 11:14 on 21 July 2004  Report this post
Bobo, I do love the language you use. Really liked the last two lines.

I did think it was a bit too short though and would have liked to have seen more.

Well done,
Marie
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Chem at 10:41 on 22 July 2004  Report this post
Hi Lisa

A very emotive poem that definitely expresses so much no matter it's length. It says so much!

I hope you have your little Bobo by your side to comfort you!!

Em
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Account Closed at 20:45 on 25 July 2004  Report this post
Hi Bobo,

Short and bittersweet poem that has the emotional impact of a hammer. Impressive.

I liked the contrast of "shards of a broken future".

Ste
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