WriteWords Writing Community
Writing Courses 
We offer one-to-one email correspondence courses. Visit our writing courses section.
   
Site Search



The Random Read


WriteWords Experts
 Expert Comments
Need help?
Speak to a  Site Host
New Members
  VickyG (21/11)
  jeidamiora (20/11)
  Beverley (19/11)
  Maritime (19/11)
  katstowell (19/11)
Your Experience?
Sent your work out?
We'd like to hear from any authors who have sent work to publishers or agents. Post your comments under the appropriate entry in the WriteWords Directory







IF ONLY

by  LONGJON  ( 1790 )

Posted: 25 July 2004
Word Count: 116


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


The morning is cold, and still and calm,
It has no reason for being,
It just is.

And it will just be tomorrow
When tomorrow comes
Though they say it never does.

Why no fanfare, no shining brass
Announcing this day
For what it could be,

If only.

If only I were rich, or tall,
A clever artist or musician
If only.

If only I were famous,
Sought after, quoted, wanted.
If only.

If only I knew how to live
And have everyone elses’ fun.
If only.

If only I had seen I needed none of this,
Only the love that once woke
With me each morning.

If only I had known this sooner.

If only.





Add to WriteWords bookmarks Bookmark this work
Add to WriteWords author bookmarks Bookmark this Author
Email a friend!Tell a friend


Comments by other Members


Posted by :  joanie at 13:42 on 25 July 2004
LJ, if only we realised that life is NOW. It's awful that it often takes a tragedy in life to make us understand just what we have and what's important.

The gift of a new day is fantastic, isn't it?

But ..... your poem leaves me feeling despondent. I feel like I felt when I read 'Yesterday Fish' - I want to shout, "But you know it NOW; it isn't too late!"

I love the opening verse. I want to say it aloud as I face a new day. "It just is."

Excellent, John.

joanie

Posted by :  strangetantrum at 14:04 on 25 July 2004
john

i think many of us will know - to a greater or lesser extent - that awful, wrenching feeling you have articulated here so well and so plainly.

a very moving, tender, elegiac piece. beautiful.

steve
Posted by :  roovacrag at 14:54 on 25 July 2004
John..
If only we could turn the clocks back and relive the love we once had.
xx Alice
Posted by :  Nell at 17:40 on 25 July 2004
John, this is heartbreaking. I love the way you make us believe in those 'if onlys' before turning the poem around with: If only I had seen I needed none of this,/Only the love that once woke/With me each morning. What can anyone say except that you've expressed those feelings so beautifully?

Nell.
Posted by :  deblet at 18:08 on 25 July 2004
John,

This is deeply touching. It definitely struck a chord with me, I know that feeling well. Maybe knowing that feeling is part of being a human, growing up, not just a message for those unlucky in love?

Whatever, it's great

deblet
Posted by :  Ticonderoga at 11:49 on 26 July 2004
A lovely universal song to which any one with a pulse will be able to respond sympathetically. Excellent!

Best,

Mike
Posted by :  LONGJON at 01:43 on 27 July 2004
Hello everyone,

Thankyou for your most generous comments.

We do sometimes let others expectations become our own, don't we? You are right, Joanie, it is NOW isn't it.

I wondered, Nell, if there were too many "If Only" repetitions, but re-reading it makes me feel that in this instance they all perform a function.

Again, my thanks

John P.
Posted by :  Lawrenco at 22:30 on 29 July 2004
Reminds me a bit of the tune by Ian Dury and the Blockheads;what a waste.
I like the way you mix regret with hindesight.
Posted by :  gard at 01:45 on 03 August 2004
Hi LongJohn

no the "if only" gives the rhythm to this piece, in my opinion. All of the above!


your lovely work, made me think, sometimes it seems we always wonder what it would like to live anothers life, someone who may appear more of something (taller, richer, etc basically better off..). I sometimes wonder this. But to accept ourselves for who we are, is wisdom isn't it? How many people reach the end of their lives and are filled with deep regrets? Are lots of us, all to busy trudging through our lives to really live a life worth remembering. I don't know; now I am confused bymy ramblings ha ha.. seek the truth in nature, I read somewhere. I guess being in NZ you are in a prime position for that!! As is reflected in your piece here.

sorry to go on...!!

G


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .