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When can I give up the day job?

by joanie 

Posted: 26 July 2004
Word Count: 272
Summary: The names remain unchanged in order to incriminate the guilty.


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Bonjour tout le monde, ça va?
Alors, asseyez-vous.

Get your books out, Stacey,
I don’t want to wait for you.

On va commencer aujourd’hui
à la page quarante-huit.

Don’t kick Ashley’s chair please
Thomas. Just stay in your seat.

Ecoutez! Qu’est-ce que tu aimes faire
le weekend, d’habitude?

Don’t shout out like that please
Josh. You know I think it’s rude.

Tu habites où – dans un village,
en ville, sur la côte?

I’m neither blind nor stupid, Hayley,
please give me that note!

Qu’est-ce que tu as fait, alors,
le weekend dernier?

Kaileigh, Natalie and Jane
put your eye make-up away.

Répétez – c’est ça – excellent!
superbe, hypercool!

Now certain verbs take être;
who can clarify the rule?

No, I don’t think French is stupid,
Lauren; what’s more, nor are you,
so come on, have a go and then
we’ll see what you can do.

Quarante-huit, that’s forty eight,
Miss. OK, thank you, Ben.
Ecoutez! Will you listen? I’m not
saying it again!

Forty eight! The red book! (Look,
just find the bloody page.)
Tom, stop thumping Sarah; like I
told you, act your age.


No, that hardly was a put-down,
was it? Alright go ahead
if you really want to sue me. It’s OK,
I’m in the red.

Qui voudrait lire le dialogue?
Je cherche une volontaire.

I’m not being sexist, Jack;
I’m trying to be fair.

No time for any more now;
Alors, rangez vos affaires.
Books away and tables straight;
Stand behind your chair.

Just before you go let’s find out
What you learned today.
Me, I’ve learned that years ago
I should have changed my way.











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Comments by other Members



olebut at 16:21 on 26 July 2004  Report this post
Joanie

very clever and amusing piece well done

david x

Fearless at 19:42 on 26 July 2004  Report this post
Hilarious. Reminded me of the treatment we meted out to our French teacher at seconday school. Mind you, he got his own back on one of the kids, calling them 'un travelot'. Aah, bliss.

Fearless

roovacrag at 19:54 on 26 July 2004  Report this post
Joan good one.
AVE VOO CUPPA.

My french is lousy. funny poem.
xx Alice

joanie at 23:12 on 26 July 2004  Report this post
David, Fearless, Alice....thanks for your comments.

joanie

miffle at 14:22 on 27 July 2004  Report this post
Joanie, the French sounds so civilized in contrast to the mayhem that is going on around it!

I enjoyed French at school though my Welsh french teacher, he had a dodgy accent ;-)

My favourite phrase for now... Nous sommes les champignons! (We are the mushrooms!?)

Hope you are enjoying your summer 'rest'/ 'holiday'' (?) Kind regards, Nikki

Elsie at 21:50 on 27 July 2004  Report this post
Well done - clever idea - nicely done.

joanie at 22:59 on 27 July 2004  Report this post
Nikki and Elsie, thank you for your responses.

Nikki, yes I'm catching up with things; a change rather than a rest!

joanie

Mr B. at 16:17 on 06 June 2006  Report this post
Joanie,

this was brilliantly funny! I could still translate the french which was a pleasant surprise. It captures a typical class beautifully, with all those characters we love (!). To get the french phonetics to rhyme with the english takes skill, but you make it look easy.

I think it's a great way of engaging kids with the language, right up there with Eddie Izzard's looking for his monkey!

Nice one!

A

joanie at 16:30 on 06 June 2006  Report this post
Thanks, Anthony!

joanie


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