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Take a trip to the sky.

by laurafraser 

Posted: 27 August 2004
Word Count: 247

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The boy watched the girl sob by her dead father’s head,
blood matted against silvery crimson hair,
(that she’d loved to stoke so much when they lay in her bed).

The boy watched as the girl started to shake that man's head
calling to a non-existent thing.
The boy watched as the girl started to scream
as he wondered what he might have for breakfast.

The girl turned and looked at the boy,
the boy that was wondering about breakfast
and as her nose ran wipped away by her blood clotted hand,
she thought she might like to hug him.

The crow sat on the fence by the road
and screeched to his mate that he’d lost.
The crow sat on the fence by the road
before hopping to the floor just below.

But come to the sky and look up from here
and down there you’ll see what they don’t.

But come to the sky and look from up here
and down there you’ll see what they don’t.

That dead man and girl,
hungry boy and crow,
that deadness and being hungry,
that moving and crying,
are but bloated&knackered old words
are but (are but?) meaningless concepts&associations&infestations,
that when listened to and reacted to,
make tears of sadness fall.

But most of all,
But most of all,
Scream it! Bellow it!
But most of all!
But most of all!
They make them blind to that rainbow
that sparkles
so remarkable
so simply
just over their heads.

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Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 20:27 on 27 August 2004  Report this post
Laura very strong words and so beautifully put.

Well done.

xx Alice

Fearless at 00:07 on 28 August 2004  Report this post

Beautiful, yet strident, forthright. Like the way you assault language and timing, a hallmark of your work perhaps?

Typos - 3rd line of the first stanza; 'stroke'?
3rd line of 3rd stanza 'wiped'?

Write on, Fearless

laurafraser at 17:55 on 01 September 2004  Report this post
Alice and fearless thank-you for your comments,
to me it is a bizarre poem (and i don't think that i like it very much), as wrote it in very bland mood. I had a poem that had wanted to download instead, but felt too lazy to get it so sat and wrote this on the computer screen without giving it much thought.
and fearless yes language fascinates me in the way that little words can have such a plethora of meanings and images attached to them and the different way people react to them. hence my love for poetry because i think it is our chance to rip away old tired meanings and smatter a word with an unexpected potency that may not have been recognised in it before...
to me poetry is playing with words..la la lala rambled sorry!

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