Login   Sign Up 



 

The Real You

by Rosalind 

Posted: 02 June 2003
Word Count: 21


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


You're nice

yet ultimately hollow

you speak

but not with truth

you're here

in body not in mind

you love

yourself






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 12:55 on 02 June 2003  Report this post
AT LAST!

A piece of poetry where I understand what's going on. Praise the lord! Praise Jeeeeeesus!

Ahem. I like the way you've got the first lin in bold followed by the second in italics. It almost looks like the the second lines are a whisper, as though the real truth is being thought, but not said aloud.

I may be a complete moron when it comes to deciphering poetry, but I could read this without losing hair, which is a good thing, if only to me...

I like =)

poemsgalore at 18:43 on 04 June 2003  Report this post
Yes, I too thought the second lines were thoughts, if only we dare say the things we are thinking, a lovely poem.

didau at 16:12 on 05 June 2003  Report this post
Very simple, straightforward and prosaic.

One small thing, should 'your here/nice' not be 'you're here/nice'?

Sorry if that sounds pedantic, but I did enjoy it

david

ps I'm over on Poetry 2 if you want to proofread any of my stuff


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .