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Scouse summer

by mamma.africa 

Posted: 09 September 2004
Word Count: 18


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2nd of July.
it rains on bloody Liverpool
and
the Mersey, drunk
vomit
irish songs
longtime ago forgotten







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Comments by other Members



nudgy at 15:49 on 09 September 2004  Report this post
Hi mam

Not sure how to take this????

I don't comment on poetry (normally) but the title drew me in because of my Scouseness.

"I don't get it!"

I'd be intrigued to know your inspiration behind it.

Welcome to WW anyway.

Dave

Anna Reynolds at 16:18 on 09 September 2004  Report this post
I rather liked the connection between the water, the irish history of much of Liverpool and the cheekiness of it. It made sense to me on a sort of instinctive level, and I do like short and pithy. Nice one. Shout it be vomits rather than vomit, though?

poemsgalore at 18:23 on 09 September 2004  Report this post
I think there should be a comma after drunk, then the word 'vomit' becomes clear.

roovacrag at 21:49 on 09 September 2004  Report this post
Mamma ..It bloody rains in Sheffield. Liked it.

My daughter in law would say WOWEE as she is a scouser.

As poems said comma after drunk then vomit, makes it flow better.

The poem that is.

xx Alice

<Added>

welcome to WW. XX

mamma.africa at 15:29 on 10 September 2004  Report this post
thanks to all of you for your comments i really apreciate it! You will have to forgive my spelling, I am not English and sometimes I just ...forget! Anyway, I never liked the rules.. of grammar! (never liked any rules actually!)
Please keep in touch and help me to do better!

lieslj at 18:09 on 11 September 2004  Report this post
I really like the energy contained in these few lines. It always amazes me how 'less is more' in so many cases. I should like oneday to see the Mersey and Liverpool, although I have seen enough vomiting drunkards where I come from!

I think your English in this piece is just fine!

Best
Liesl

<Added>

Forgot to ask - what is a scouse?

mamma.africa at 18:23 on 11 September 2004  Report this post
Liesl, a scouse is somebody from Liverpool. There also a local meat stew called the same. I don't know the origin of it but I will ask around!
thanks for your compliments!
Mamma

Ps: if anybody else know more about the subject please help!

R-Poet at 16:02 on 17 September 2004  Report this post
You have several options, grammar-wise, methinks:
- drunk / vomits / Irish songs (no commas) ... ie one person "vomits" songs
- drunks / vomit / Irish songs (no commas) ... ie there's a chorus of them!
- drunk / vomit / Irish songs (with or without commas) ... this is a list, ie a drunk, vomit, songs
... take your pick, mamma!

I also like to be minimalist within my poems, so I like this style of picture-painting. Keep 'em coming!

Steve


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