|
|
 |
What Counts
Posted: 05 October 2004
Word Count: 63
Summary: Formerly entitled 'Blah-wank-dribbly-toss-bollocks'.
|
Font Size
|
|
It doesn’t matter -
whatever you said,
you did.
Ugly hours of worry
bore demented fruit -
that withered to seed
and germinated
into laughter, play
and the distinct possibility
of cheekily breezing past
the winning post,
wherever, whenever
that may be…
For every fallen soldier
there is one to take his place.
Smiling is probably
the only thing -
that really matters.
|
Comments by other Members
| |
 Chem at 21:46 on 05 October 2004
 Report this post
|
Bob
This is fantastic and, again, you make it seem so damn easy and I just know it isn't!
So much respect and I am loving that title but, pray tell, how did you come up with it?
:-)
Em
| |
The Walrus at 21:50 on 05 October 2004
Report this post
|
Em, deeply appreciative of your kind comments. Title, hmmm... combination of being dangerously close to taking myself and my, loosely termed, 'writing' seriously and scrabbling with a poem that appeared from nowhere. Sized the bugger up, but still couldn't name it, so stuck my tongue out in defeat.
;-)
Bob
| |
Chem at 22:32 on 05 October 2004
Report this post
|
Bob
Your 'writing' is very good and worth taking seriously but I also agree that it's extremely healthy to be able to laugh at one's self too. And most definitely stick a toungue out from time to time :-)
Em
| |
The Walrus at 22:43 on 05 October 2004
Report this post
|
Both wise and kind words indeed Em. (Read: marry me and have my children lol).
Bob ;-) - beginning to realise the true extent of the headache tomorrow morning. Hehe.
| |
Chem at 23:12 on 05 October 2004
Report this post
|
Have you noticed I can't spell tongue :-) But I can stick it out lots!
If headache happens, drink water!
Em x
| |
The Walrus at 23:19 on 05 October 2004
Report this post
|
I did notice (in passing since you mention it), but was so contented in bathing in the warm watters of flattery that it seemed petulant to even think about commenting on the minor point. On tongue/toungue sticking out, an underrated sport/pastime.
Bob
(H2O. Two pints.)
PPS sorry, David a minor aberration. Please don't chuck me off again.
| |
|
|
|
|
 joanie at 14:53 on 06 October 2004
Report this post
|
The Walrus,
This stands being read and re-read. I am finding myself pondering the words. I enjoyed it; I am sill reading it to decide why.
joanie
| |
|
|
Don Gorgon at 18:33 on 06 October 2004
Report this post
|
Walrus, I must confess, I did like the working title!
I loved these lines, "the distinct possibility of cheekily breezing past the winning post, wherever, whenever that may be…"
Nice work!
Don
| |
miffle at 22:45 on 06 October 2004
Report this post
|
I very much like the image of the racehorses rising from the seeds of the decayed fruit: an ingenious linkage! A Phoenix poem I thought... Good one. Miffle. NB Smiling: as long as it's with the eyes too i.e. not just a brave face.
<Added>
'bore' or 'bored': tenses in that line ?
| |
The Walrus at 14:58 on 07 October 2004
Report this post
|
Don, yes I liked the working title too - but don't like to offend sensibilities (yeah right).
Miffle, glad you liked it. Definitely a phoenix poem, yes! And on smiling - so right. Not sure how 'bored' would work. I meant 'bore' in the sense of giving birth to. Does that make sense?
Thanks as always guys for your comments.
The Walrus
| |
Lawrenco at 14:20 on 09 October 2004
Report this post
|
I loved the free style,I love to read it over and over because it`s really,it`s very witty and metamorphis of ugly hours of worry.is very clever it turn into laughter and then into a pleasant Anarchy ,like spike milligen nonsense. The last stanza is really political:The empire wouldn`t succeed if they didn`t have a solder to replace.
<Added>
Certainly it reminded me a bit like my poem OUI.But relative rather than similar well done fantastic stuff.
| |
| |
Comments by other Members
