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This is what I am
Posted: 13 October 2004
Word Count: 45
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This is what I am
Greatest,
I am the greatest.
Power,
I have power.
Choice,
I have choice.
Freedom,
I have freedom.
Destiny,
I have destiny.
Existence,
That is what these things are.
Remember this,
Never forget this,
Greatest,
I am the greatest,
I am.
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 Chem at 23:36 on 13 October 2004
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Hi Marcus
I very much like the theme of your poem and the way it is structured. I like the positivity which sparkles from it! I also noticed you choice of words:
'Power,
I have power.
Choice,
I have choice.
Freedom,
I have freedom'
I strongly believe a lot of people just don't grasp this concept in their own life. I also noticed these lines because it reminded me of a poem of mine, called 'Grasp', here is an extract from it:
'We have the freedom
We have the power
We have the choice'
So, I must say, your poem certainly spoke to me!
All the best
Em
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The Walrus at 11:49 on 14 October 2004
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Bro,
Shooting straight from the hip. A piece of naked affirmation with a real mantra feel to it.
Don't normally do this but this was my take:
'Power': derived from a fundamental feeling of connectedness with the 'universal source' and once that connection is made and felt (in a very non-cerebral way - could bloody shoot Descartes incidentally - just how wrong did he get it?!), there is no limit to personal power;
'Choice': actively taking the decision - choosing to take responsibility for yourself, your life and your happiness;
'Freedom' - freedom from self-doubt, guilt, fear, shame, belief systems, social conditioning, a painful past, future expectations and the rampaging ego - all of which blend together in a rather lethal concoction - which dopes the 'real' person and perpetuates some seriously destructive behaviour.
'Destiny': in the paradoxical sense: 'I am the captain of my fate' mirrored by 'the universe is unfolding as it should be'.
I feel this is a piece for mankind since it speaks a universal truth. What you express - everyone should feel.
Sis
x
<Added>
PS I agree with Em, her 'Grasp' is very similar both in spirit and message.
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Sazmac at 13:27 on 14 October 2004
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Marcus
I found this quite scary and chilling. I loved the clipped and considered form and rhythm. It added to the sense of being rock fast and resolute.
Great words.
Saz
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roovacrag at 16:18 on 14 October 2004
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Marcus great poem as always and welcome back.
We all have a choice,even people with learning problems,(I worked with learning dissabilities)
We all feel great when on a high,
we all have power when we are in control,
even our own feelings. Most of all we should all have freedom,not matter what colour or creed,we should all be united as one.
You're worth waiting for Marcus.
Well done.
xxxxxxxxxxx Alice(you get extra kisses young man,as we have waited a long time for this)
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Marcus1 at 20:08 on 16 October 2004
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Thank you all for your very positive responses, I did wonder (without being too worried about it) if I would be accused of total arogance, but I feel that you have all verified to me that this poem is about grasping the power we all have in an unrestricted way, and this can paradoxicaly be a very humbling experience.
I have also tried to convey the idea that this power is a consequence of existing, and not through a learned or worked at process, I am not sure if this has come across so well.
See you all some time, and thanks again.
Marcus
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