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Last of the miniwords

by poemsgalore 

Posted: 22 October 2004
Word Count: 29
Summary: Hope you enjoy these as much as the others.


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Unique crystal flakes
fall gently down,
forming white carpet.

****************

Frozen breath forms
clouds of ice
upon the air.

***************

Tiny umbrellas thrust
from beneath the
roots of trees.






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Comments by other Members



James Graham at 20:24 on 22 October 2004  Report this post
'Tiny umbrellas' is the one that works best for me, because it sets off so many associations, some whimsical. Mushrooms look like umbrellas, do they act as umbrellas? Trees act as (leaky) umbrellas but to be really dry we ought to get under a mushroom. There's a hint of fairy-tale dimensions too - elves under mushroom umbrellas.

The 'unique' snow-flakes making a uniform 'carpet' is paradoxical and interesting too. But maybe frozen breath forming clouds of ice is a bit obvious? It doesn't quite have the element of surprise that the other two have.

James.

Chem at 21:23 on 22 October 2004  Report this post
Kathleen

I've really been looking forward to the next instalment of your 'miniwords' and have enjoyed these just as much as the last! I love all three and, like James, especially the 'Tiny Umbrellas' for its imagery and originality.

Lovely
Em


roovacrag at 13:15 on 23 October 2004  Report this post
Kathleen every one is a gem. Like diamonds flowing from the breath in second stanza,to seeing the mushrooms like umbrellas' under a tree.to the crystals.

Yes.everyone a gem.

xx Alice

joanie at 21:11 on 23 October 2004  Report this post
Kathleen, these are excellent again. I shall see umbrellas in future rather than mushrooms.

joanie

Okkervil at 15:46 on 26 October 2004  Report this post
Lovely! I haven't come across these 'mini words' before, but I'm glad I have now. Nothing constructive to say about them, though. I shall just add my own shout of acclamation.

Bye!

James

poemsgalore at 18:06 on 26 October 2004  Report this post
Well, I'm glad they have struck a chord with most of you, I'm currently working on a rather longer piece, if it works out the way I want it (and I don't give up on it) it could possibly be an epic. Lots of words in it. Thanks for all your kind comments. I hope some of you will produce some mini words in the future.


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