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by Carlton 

Posted: 16 November 2004
Word Count: 79

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Oh God, what have I done.
I said I did not love you
to your face.

We both were calm
before the storm,
stunned perhaps.
Me for my honesty
and you, well,
I never really knew.

Communication started then
where none had been before.
Soft spoken words
through salty eyes,
trying not to disagree.

And now this morning
I see you walking
hand in hand along the path
to school
with our two children,

and now it really starts.

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Comments by other Members

PaulAnthony at 09:40 on 16 November 2004  Report this post
You seem to be going through a tough time Carlton if your poems are reflective of your current life. This being the case I hope writing eases the apparent pain.

Carlton at 09:55 on 16 November 2004  Report this post
It both purges and enlivens at the same time. Much better than a bottle:-)

joanie at 10:06 on 16 November 2004  Report this post
Oh, wow, Carlton, this is brilliant. I can feel the emotion. (Gulp)
What a desperately sad opening line.
I love the third stanza.

Okkervil at 14:46 on 16 November 2004  Report this post
Carlton, this is superlative! It's astonishingly sad for what is in comparison such a small amount of words.

'Soft spoken words
through salty eyes,
trying not to disagree.'

I thought 'now it really starts' was an odd and poingnant last line.


roovacrag at 23:32 on 16 November 2004  Report this post
Carlton ..a great first line.

Well if your going to ask, who better than God.

What better path to take than the one in your poem.

You did it well.

xx Alice

Carlton at 16:04 on 17 November 2004  Report this post
Thank you all for your kind reviews, it was a painful day when the poem was penned, but writing seems to clear the head, and help to focus on times ahead.

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