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THE CONTENDER
Posted: 17 November 2004
Word Count: 38
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“I used to be a contender,” he told me.
“But now I’m a contenter.”
He laughed
as his children played
on the swings
in the car park
to be
outside the pub
that once was
his pulling palace.
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Comments by other Members
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 The Walrus at 12:41 on 17 November 2004
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Again, as with your previous poem, the tone and style is very distinctive and for me, really works. I like the way you have conveyed, in few words, the dramatic change in the subject/his life.
The Walrus
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 joanie at 15:59 on 17 November 2004
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I like this cleaver. I like the play on words and the alliteration - park, pub, pulling-palace
Deep but simple, conveying a lot.
joanie
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Okkervil at 17:59 on 17 November 2004
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Like Walrus said, a strong style. It's short, but you say everything you want to. Uplifting too! In fact, goshdarned lovely.
Bye!
James
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scottwil at 10:48 on 19 January 2005
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This came up on my random read. I don't usually comment on poetry but it was short and it made me smile.
The 'a contenter' sort of works, but perhaps you might try: “I used to be a contender,” he told me.
“But now I’m contenter.”
Best
Sion
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