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eye-i

by laurafraser 

Posted: 18 November 2004
Word Count: 262
Summary: Something I started to play with yesterday. About someone obsessed with 'I' and ego, thinking e/t comes from her, hence the slight irrelvance of talk of coffee etc The line ďthe men who left because of dreamsĒ refers to any man who left home to fight someone elseís war thinking it would take them away from their own-inevitably itt doesnít.


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Content Warning
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.


I am in love with
I, Oh what a lovely
eye!
Though sleep stays stuck in the corners
I think if
I quaff a coffee,
Iíll manage to stay awake for the lover
I love so much, but,
Iíll admit
I am a little frightened, because
I appear to have lost my voice
I know that there must be things
I should say and
I know that
I canít because youíre not there

I am the snow that falls in Switzerland&the sunbeams that penetrate Swaziland
I feel like
I think itís a.m, jet-lagged and slightly confused as
I turn and get out the other side to be met by the moon whoís an egg

I am waiting here like
I promised you, waiting so
we
can go home - but the sun and moon have eloped and
I feel so slightly confused - should
I have loved you more then?
Iím like the men who left home because of dreams, except
I am so much worse,
I remind me of them, like a pink empty hearse,
Iím all wrong, non-conformist and
I worry that
Iíve really fucked up

My eyes are no longer open, the sleep is stuck like glue
I really need you near now to hold
My hand and help
Me -you promised youíd never leave
Me, declared it like an ancient decree
Iím going to bed alone now, blind and groping
My way, thinking about my
I-eye, my eye-I that
I wish Iíd learnt to watch, oh
I hope that you are happy, the only opiate of
My heart.






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Comments by other Members



Okkervil at 17:23 on 18 November 2004  Report this post
Brilliant! Strongly written, an' it works! I liked the feel tht the person speakung is more tuned into their own voice than whether or not what they say makes entirely enough sense. I'm not entirely sure I understand quite all of it, so I'll stop there, suffice to say: great poem!

Bye!

James

laurafraser at 21:50 on 18 November 2004  Report this post
Thanks for reading James
xlaura

The Walrus at 17:50 on 19 November 2004  Report this post
Like James, I can't pretend to understand all of this, but the repetition of I works very well. I would say that for an ego-obsessed person, the 'other' person features quite strongly especially in the final two lines.

If this piece had been posted anonymously I would have guessed you had written by you - a testament to the fact you have a strong and distinctive style.

Partiuclarly like: I am the snow that falls in Switzerland&the sunbeams that penetate Swaziland.

More please.

The Walrus


laurafraser at 09:01 on 20 November 2004  Report this post
thank-you walrus, i think sometimes understanding doesn't need to be had straight away, liking something can be both more important and more powerful, whilst the intellect doddles behind (no inference on anyone's just an expression!) trying to put something in a box
yes the other person is meant to feature strongly because i think that for every ego-obsessed person there is someone in their lives who they manipulate to the point where even though they realise they are iin their lives, nothing is about them, only the 'i'
i have seen it with people who say 'i love you' only to destroy that person because they are so occupied with whats going on in their heads
and thank-you walrus, that is an enormous compliment for me that you would have recognised my 'work'-what a wonderful thing to say! thnk-you for reading
xlaura


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