Login   Sign Up 


Someone I know

by HS 

Posted: 25 November 2004
Word Count: 96

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

Alone in a boat the sad man sits;
His eyes cast down from the stars.
He sits in his boat as it rocks and he smokes,
Away from the town and the cars.

He lights up another dull red eye,
As the night draws in and the sun retreats,
The coal keeps guard as the cold turns hard
And drink slows his fallow heart's strong beats.

This cold man was hot, he did not sit
And brood and rock in life before.
But fires burn out, within, without
The fuel they need to flame and roar.

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 21:29 on 25 November 2004  Report this post
HS Welcome to WW.

This caught me. Each stanza flowed well and blended into the next one.

First stanza hit out and thats what I like when I read a poem. If it doesn't it can pall and a reader will pass it by.

For your first attempt,I want to read more.

Well done.

xx Alice

paul53 [for I am he] at 16:35 on 03 March 2005  Report this post
An excellent little piece I previously missed. Do some more.

Plagious at 17:51 on 21 October 2005  Report this post
Reminded me of Hemingway's "Old Man and the Sea".

Simple, expressive lines. Like it!


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .