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The Wheel (snipped at).

by laurafraser 

Posted: 04 December 2004
Word Count: 131

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Limping hyenas howl at hallucinating ravers who stomp
and twirl
Their dreads drenched with sweat, embedded with the sand of the deserts, as
Fornicating couples and orgies collapse on the ground
Clothes disappearing from sinewy bodies, whilst all the while
The hyenas howl, as the human
beasts forget.
In an abandoned amphitheatre where a lone opera singer caresses a song
she’d forgotten,
Tourists are coming and so she brings together her lips,
But with pleasure, like when I stroke you with a feather,
Because this women has awakened her
sleeping soul.
When a woman whose legs have opened to
an ocean,
Pulls the covers over her smiling because she knows she is alone.
Enlightened Gurus enrage gold-obsessed minds
Who sit in chandelier smothered restaurants masticating for more inches on
their bellies.

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Comments by other Members

Okkervil at 21:49 on 06 December 2004  Report this post
Arg. I do not understand. Which is a shame, 'cos this poem seems great (can I say 'is' when I don't get it entirely?) Anyways, its not you, its me. Dense. This poem is cool. Cool and great. I should be able to say more being an A Level English student (especially with some of the, ahem, connotations here- I should be able to think of something to say 'bout them having studied Shakespeare!), but goshdarnit, I can't. I'm a bashful sort. I liked the set pieces. (cop out, James!)
I only stay up this late for Newsnight. Which I don't like. So there!

Sorry for gross inadequacy,


Souchong at 23:02 on 06 December 2004  Report this post
i lost my comments. i dunno if i can do it again. d'oh. doncha just hate it when that happens.
laura - original as always (did i ever tell you that you were prob one of the first poets i read on this site?) loved lots of things here. loved the opera singer and the internal rhyme of the line 'But with pleasure, like when I stroke you with a feather'. loved the way she brings her lips together in contrast with the next bit and the legs apart. love the fact that the woman smiles because she is alone. love the hyenas and the human animals. love lots of the words and the images.

stuggled with the word 'masticating'. this is probably because it is a word i do not like. i dont like the look of it or the feel of it in my mouth, or the sound of it. could be a bit of a personal prejudice. these things happen. lol. is just something for you to maybe consider when you doing the snipping. or not.

nice one. again.


laurafraser at 09:50 on 07 December 2004  Report this post
James- A 'brief' synopsis for you: (and a warning as an english student it will no doubt make you cry with frustration at the abuse of grammar, punctuation etc so I ask that you look at these as a list of notes!)

'the wheel' as in the wheel of life. I wanted to draw comparisons between things that may not appear to be linked-e.g. Limping hyenas and stomping ravers, when in my belief they are one.
The opera singer represents those moments we are lucky enough to have, that nano-second whereupon everything "makes sense." She has rediscovered a part of her that she'd lost and the tourists arriving represent the throng who will want to dissipate that truth. One of my most beloved quotes is from Ernest Hemmingway "If you talk about it you loose it."
But then the woman - who could be a prostitute, that is up to the reader - is smiling because she is in bed alone showing that even though you may share everything of yourself, you can still maintain a truth and a purity.

Again both women are part of 'the wheel,' both at one point in their lives have given a great part of themselves to strangers and are now rediscovering what that was.

The Enlightened Gurus are being jested by me ever so slightly in the same way as the "gold...minds" I think that there have been many beautiful enlightened beings on this planet but sadly there are many who only pretend. The annoyance of the "gold...minds" is therefore pointless-they are angry at a facade.
Oh god sorry, my 'brief' turned out to be very un-brief, but I hope that this may help you in the understanding of my poem. Thank-you for reading

Souchong, thank-you for your comments-what an honour that you remembered I was one of the first 'poets’ that you read!
The masticating is meant to be an uncomfortable word-I have always found it a strange word too, but a strangeness that I wanted to play with in a poem where it would perhaps stand out
Thank-you for reading

DerekH at 10:31 on 13 December 2004  Report this post
Laura, I followed the path from your comment on my flash, through your name to your profile, then landed here...

I know nothing about poetry...but I love the feel of this. I admit I was confused by some of it, but found myself reading it over, to try to find the meaning...rather than dismissing it...and in doing so felt drawn into a dream-like scene. There's great imagery in there, and great rhythm and power...in fact the whole thing has a lyrical feel, as though it should be read over music.


laurafraser at 18:12 on 16 February 2005  Report this post
thank-you derek -sorry for late thank-you...what is there to kow about poetry other than words on a page? you like/hate/moved/inspired/left uneasy....
thanks for the comment and for reading xlaura

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