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by Beanie Baby 

Posted: 08 December 2004
Word Count: 23
Summary: I'm sure you'll recognise this ...

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At 5pm I'll be reborn.
I'll escape the confines
of this chrysalis
and fly like a butterfly,
drenched in the colours
of freedom.

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Comments by other Members

kennyp at 17:50 on 08 December 2004  Report this post
An excellent economy of words, that succinctly captures that daily brief elation of relief that the working day is over. Wishing it was Friday now!
Great stuff.

joanie at 21:52 on 08 December 2004  Report this post
BB, I love this sort of thing - succinct and true. I like the butterfly image; it works well. colours of freedom is excellent.

I enjoyed this - good to read aloud too.


Don Gorgon at 23:59 on 12 December 2004  Report this post
Beanie Baby, it's great working isn't it! Great little poem, definitely one that I and most of the population can identify with. It is like feeling 'reborn' and 'free' once you get out of those doors, well captured. Nice one.



Mr B. at 14:46 on 30 December 2004  Report this post
And oh, how brief is that butterfly's flight! I liked pondering the various meanings of 'chrysalis'!

Nice one,


engldolph at 15:08 on 12 June 2005  Report this post
hi Beanie B,

Caught up with this one via Random read..
great metaphor for end of day freedom..I'm assuming you then reform the chrysalis each day and then each 5pm break-out?! or was this the final chucking of the job!?

You know, for even greater brevity you might even think of dropping the ...like a butterfly...
we already know what a chrysalis usually turns into..

of this chrysalis
and fly -
drenched in the colours

you could even, if you were being really bold and taking a leaf out of the writing philosophy of a poet like William Carlos Williams (reduce/reduce/reduce) even consider nixing the last line...you have already captured the freedom idea without spelling it out.. which would give you something like:

At 5pm I'll be reborn.
I'll escape the confines
of this chrysalis
and fly -
drenched in the colours.

maybe a bit minimilist for your ear..


Beanie Baby at 16:12 on 01 July 2005  Report this post
Thanks, Mike. Was this poem a random read? Gosh! How exciting - I had no idea! Love the way you have reduced the whole thing down to the barest minumum - and as someone whose philosophy is also to reduce, reduce, reduce (hence my endless adoration of haiku) I think your version is twenty times better than mine! Thank you so much for your comments. They are very gratefully received!
Beanie. x

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