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Magi of the Eternal Spring-Time

by laurafraser 

Posted: 10 December 2004
Word Count: 297


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Have you ever whispered words to the white bits on the waves?
Have you ever dreamt of a place you have never been to before?
Come and follow me then Iíll show you all the way
For I am the major magi of the eternal springtime and Iím hoping to slice open my vein.


Been watching, (Always watching)
Things that all have names,
And I don't care to mention, no I don't care to mention
The names of the things that I won't name.

But I asked you two questions
And now Iíll show you the world.
So come here little you
So white little ewe
So pure that you make me want to laugh-
And then smile like a dog that drank wine.

(Make me smile then).

You make me smile.
Unlike those faces, those unbelievable believe all faces,
Faces that kneel
And faces that watch palms unite,
Their eyes reside in sockets,
Two very ugly pale bulging pockets,
And they kneel there,
Daily and hourly,
Weekly and per anum,
For something beats within their hearts
Of a seed that can only destroy.

So, come here little ewe,
yes you little you
and hold me close and then
leave.

Because I, me and you,
See, we have the white bits on the waves
And the whispers in our hearts and I wonder
As I sloth under the moon wondering of all the things asunder and that have gone ablunder,
And I find I am blind as a mole.

Have you ever wanted to hear the whispered words of the sea?
Have you ever wanted more than your enemy?
Come and follow me then; I'll show you all the way
For I am the magi of the eternal springtime
And I'm hoping to slice open a vein.






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Comments by other Members



Okkervil at 23:11 on 10 December 2004  Report this post
I like things you write! This is excellent. I perhaps love the second-from-last stanza a little more than the fashion in which I unequivocally love the rest of it, but maybe the word 'mole' has just stuck in my head and I do, in fact, love it all with equal measure. Little things, the rhymes thrown in and yet completely unobtrusive in their obviousness, making it a magnificent piece to read (sent little shivers up my spine, it did), the things that should sound silly (the name repetition in the second stanza maybe, and the ewe thing) that don't, and the line, 'For I am the magi of the eternal springtime/ And I'm hoping to slice open a vein.'

One day I may make comments that are anything but gushing/whimsical/useless/camp, but not just yet. I went for the hat trick of 'gushing, camp and whimiscal' today. Thanks for excellence!

G'night!

James

ShayBoston at 20:50 on 11 December 2004  Report this post
Laura,

I looked at this having just read one of your others. I'm becoming a big fan. You write epics and you're making a fiction writer love poetry. I would like to pick out lines, but where would I start? A wonderful piece.

Shay


The Walrus at 18:58 on 12 December 2004  Report this post
Another strong, distinctive piece Laura. The tone of complicity (think that's the right word anyway) works well - a poem that pulls you along with the lure of magic.

The Walrus

laurafraser at 22:35 on 12 December 2004  Report this post
James, as a first comment to read, pretty damn brilliantly reassuring to be greeted by yours-thank-you for your enthusiasm-both touching and fantastic!
Thank-you for reading my poetry and I am glad that you enjoy what I write!
xLaura

Shay,
Thank-you for your comments-they has made me proud to be able to write poetry that appeals to people not necessarily drawn to poetry-highly flattered-thank-you!
xLaura

Walrus,
As always thank-you for reading-I like the idea of "complicity" and "magic" that you have highlighted
xLaura


Don Gorgon at 22:58 on 12 December 2004  Report this post
laura, this definitely had a 'mythical' effect to it for me and there are some beautiful lines in it throughout. I won't list them all because I might as well just copy and paste most of the poem if I'm going to do that, but,

'And I don't care to mention, no I don't care to mention
The names of the things that I won't name.',

I do love these two lines!

Beautiful works laura.

Thanks

Don

laurafraser at 08:55 on 13 December 2004  Report this post
Thank-you Don. I was unsure of putting this poem on WW originally mainly because of what I feared people might see as rehashed vitriolic at the church -in stanza 5 (which is not intended at all by the way!) and it makes me increadibly glad that people seem to like this poem-phew!
thank-you for reading
xlaura

Ticonderoga at 10:01 on 13 December 2004  Report this post
laura - truly magical; some beautiful punning and wordplay; for some reason, this makes me think of Walter De La Mare at his best. Very special.

Best,

Mike

laurafraser at 17:28 on 13 December 2004  Report this post
Mike,

Thank-you for your wonderful compliment - I had never read any of De La Mare's poetry and have just read a couple now and would like to say thank-you! Am deeply flattered. I only read three of his poems but of them "The Listerners' was my faveourite-thank-you for introducing me to a new poet and one that by the loks of it I will love and learn a lot from
xlaura

DerekH at 15:58 on 14 December 2004  Report this post
Laura, another wonderful piece. You conjure up weird and wonderful images while you play with the rhythm and rhyme, and it all works... I think you have something very special going on...Very special!

I don't know much about poetry but I know I love this!

Derek.


laurafraser at 16:56 on 14 December 2004  Report this post
Derek thank-you so much for your kind words. i adore poetry so am much encouraged by your comments
thank-you for reading xlaura


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