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Not quite fool-proof

by Celt 

Posted: 15 December 2004
Word Count: 242


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I once surmised that, if I was ever crossing the road, while deep in another thought,
and not notice a vehicle fast enough to get out of the way, the best thing to do, would
be try and get as high as possible..
This way I was more likely to roll over the roof instead of chewing the tyre tread.
A quick raising of the legs at the very least, or, if time permitted, a 'bionic man' leap
should do the trick. The idea though, would have to be so ingrained as to be instinctive
in order to pull it off.
One Saturday dinnertime shortly after this thought, I was leaving work and started to cross
the road located right outside the building. I always double-check each way and after doing
so, set off on my merry way.
To my horror, in my peripheral vision a car appeared, seemingly from nowhere.
Without turning to look or hesitating I jumped as high as I could into the air.
The expected crunch and tumble didn't occur and I landed safely on my feet.
I now turned to see that the car was in fact fifty yards away and although heading my way,
had only just turned the corner. I had had plenty of time to cross.
What the driver must have thought, on seeing someone jump so high in the middle of the
road for no apparent reason, has given rise to more ponderings.








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Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 12:01 on 15 December 2004  Report this post
Excellent, Celt!
That's just the sort of thought process i go through. I love the idea that you jumped, then the motorist would go on and think/do something else etc - the knock-on effect.

One Saturday dinnertime Shortly after this thought,= small S for shortly with a comma before.

I always double-check each way and after doing
so, set off on my merry way. = this seemed a bit long winded.

Elspeth


bjlangley at 09:48 on 16 December 2004  Report this post
Hi Celt, I liked this, it put a smile on my face. The title is fitting too. I felt the flow of the first sentence was distrupted a little by the commas - I'd probably do away with the ones after road and do - but it's up to you!

All the best,

Ben

scoops at 12:02 on 17 December 2004  Report this post
Hi Celt, This is a fun piece. You're missing a "did" as in "did not" in the first sentence. I loved the idea, it was simple and witty. It felt, though, very wordy in relation to the simplicity of the tale. If some of the sentences were less convoluted, it would make a pithy story even pithier. For example: "The idea though, would have to be so ingrained as to be instinctive in order to pull it off." The sentiment is overwhelmed by the language. Just a thought:-) Shyama


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