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Living on the edge?

by libera 

Posted: 25 June 2003
Word Count: 349
Summary: Comparison between two opposite ends of a borough in London


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Copyright © Anita Ibru

Living On The Edge?

Last Friday I was power-walking home from the gym, via the usual route, up Kensington Church Street, towards Notting Hill Gate. I was using up my last reserve of energy and unusually, I stopped in my tracks. For the sight ahead of me was one of pure irony. The antique shops on the border of Kensington and Notting Hill were holding some sort of street party. Party it was. ‘Street’? I think NOT.

There I was, on that beautiful summer evening, sunset was approaching and there were bursts of colour ahead of me and I thought that the Notting Hill Carnival had come early. Then I spotted the shoes. Typical. Jimmy Choos and Manolo Blahnicks. A far contrast from the W11 staple – trainers, both for the fit and unfit. And no darling, the brightly coloured and pastel Pashminas, neatly-blown up yellow balloons and fake tan were not to be mistaken for the firey explosion of colours and floats typically seen in the area during that August-end bank holiday weekend.

Gosh! Those people from SW3 really had no idea about how to hold a street party. They certainly did not have edge an either. Maybe a few designer fringes, nice neat little trimmings but none of that urban - je ne sais quoi. As for music, the nearest to ‘sounds’ were the hooting of passing vehicles indicating that their little balloon-drawn carriages get out of the way.

Then there was another safety hazard – the knocking out of innocent bystanders and windscreens with champagne corks. As for food, I was not greeted with the whiff of barbeque, beer or the smells normally associated with street parties. No sweeties. It was pre-ordered canapés, and delicate little bities and eaties for the loitering ladies and gentlemen. So Sloanies, please return to your cosy little hideaways and manicured gardens in the real core of the Royal Borough, keep your frills and trills, balloons and bubbles neatly where they belong, and leave us Hillbllies alone on the fringes to enjoy chilled summer evenings in peace.






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Comments by other Members



stephanieE at 11:53 on 26 June 2003  Report this post
Some well-constructed descriptive phrases, packed into a small number of words.

It's very pointed though - there's a sense of bitterness that wells through the text without trying too hard. I wonder what you're intending to do with this?

libera at 13:29 on 26 June 2003  Report this post
Thanks for the comments. Actaully no bitterness was intented, my parents live in the area of frills and trills and I was actually making fun of myself too. I think one of my problems is my "raw" writing style!

tweed at 16:33 on 26 June 2003  Report this post
Nice sharp piece. I'd be interested to know what you intend for this piece seeing as it's in the film & TV group?

Ioannou at 18:11 on 26 June 2003  Report this post
All a bit too clichéd? Know the area well from studying/living nearby, and I think it's too easy to write this and not really look at the reality. One other thing, would someone who power-walks home from the gym up Kensington Church Street really know what 'street' is either?! I am intrigued to know though what this fits into? Is it a character's rant? A plea? Love, Maria.

ben macia at 17:50 on 01 July 2003  Report this post
this is fantastic, whether or not you power walk to and from the gym, your observation of sloanies at play is briliant. this piece, to my mind, has great scope for expansion and i'd love to read more. are there intentions to expand upon this particular voice?
whatever happens, don't change the raw style, it's honest and that's a powerful thing in itself.

Peter D at 15:27 on 27 August 2003  Report this post
Good piece, nice pace, realistic internal voice. I don't know much about prose - far more a screenwriter, but this reads well and is interesting.

Possibly 'There I was, on that beautiful summer evening, sunset was approaching and there were bursts of colour ahead of me and I thought that the Notting Hill Carnival had come early.' is largely redundant - the colour theme is nice but can be included in the first paragraph: then it puts nicer emphasis on the shoes (though this might be me seeing the script in shots rather than as a short story)

Nice sentence structure changes: feels natural, well put together.

'Then there was another safety hazard – the knocking out of innocent bystanders and windscreens with champagne corks.' = this feels a bit passive for me: maybe you can make it a dynamic event seen in real time? Maybe hear the sounds of popping corks, then reactions of people as they're hit/ windscreens cracked etc.

Agree completely with Ben's comment: 'don't change the raw style, it's honest and that's a powerful thing in itself.'

Best of luck with this

Peter Devonald

Seahorse at 19:59 on 13 November 2003  Report this post
The power-walking and the emphasis on the word "NOT" in the first paragraph turned me off. I liked the opinions but I think they'd be much better coming from somebody with whom we can empathise - maybe who had an event in their past which justified their thoughts a little more.
It'd be much better as a sentimental sort of piece, rather than a rant by somebody who barges other people off the pavement.

PS What is it?

libera at 17:01 on 03 May 2004  Report this post
To Seahorse, I think you misinterpreted this piece totally. The barging of people was not by the writer but by the people being watched in this piece - they did the barging - and it can never be a sentimental piece, the topic is far too frivolous and anyway making fun of one-self should never be taken seriously. As for the events you are referring to, I have no idea what you are trying to say. Though I do find your comment on my English - i.e. the emphasis on 'not' somewhat useful. Thank you for that.


Seahorse at 08:12 on 04 May 2004  Report this post
OK. Looking at it again, possibly the only problem I have with it is the author's 'power-walking'. I just don't know if that's necessary. Seems the power-walkers are precisely the type of people he/she should be railing against. I just can't imagine a power-walker being the kind of person who just wants to enjoy a 'chilled summer evening' in Notting Hill.
I don't know. Maybe I've just got a hang-up about power-walkers for some reason. Maybe I was barged off the pavement once when I was very young.
I do like it though!!!


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